Bumper Book of Humphrey's Tiny Tales 1 Read online

  Mr Morales had to leave the booth to get ready for the parade. Aldo took his place.

  The first person to buy a ticket to throw a sponge was Richie.

  He pulled his arm way back and threw it at his uncle.

  Splat! It hit Aldo on the side of his head.

  He laughed so hard, his moustache shook.

  ‘You can do better than that, Richie,’ he said. ‘Try again.’

  Meanwhile, Mrs Brisbane went to get the signs for our class.

  She left Miranda in charge of Og and me.

  ‘It’s almost time, Humphrey,’ Miranda said as she wheeled us towards the bouncy castle.

  I watched all the children bouncing around inside.

  My tummy felt a little bouncy, too.

  Soon Mrs Brisbane was back, handing out signs to all my friends.

  ‘Look at me, Humphrey,’ someone said.

  I looked up and saw a giant hamster. Eeek!

  ‘It’s me – Seth,’ the giant hamster said. ‘I had my face painted like a hamster!’

  I was HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY to see that it really was Seth.

  ‘Look at me,’ another voice said.

  I looked up and saw a huge green face.

  ‘It’s me – Tabitha,’ the green face said. ‘I had my face painted like a frog!’

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ Og said. He sounded quite pleased.

  My classmates were all lined up now, holding their signs.

  They looked unsqueakably fine wearing their hamster-ear hats.

  Mrs Brisbane told the students to march in two straight lines, holding their signs high.

  ‘When we get to the stage, A.J., you lead the chant,’ she said. ‘Everyone will be able to hear you.’

  She asked Miranda and Richie to push the trolley together.

  ‘I’ve got an idea,’ Richie said.

  I couldn’t hear what it was because he whispered it to Miranda.

  As the classes lined up, I saw children carrying all kinds of colourful signs and banners.

  My tummy did a flip-flop. Would Room 26 be the best after all?

  ‘Eek!’ I squeaked.

  But no one could hear me because a band began to play loud music.

  ‘All right, students. Forward, march!’ Mrs Brisbane said.

  The trolley lurched forward.

  ‘Og, we’re in a parade!’ I told my froggy friend.

  ‘BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!’ he replied.

  As we marched along, mums and dads, brothers, sisters and grandparents waved at us and cheered us on.

  ‘Signs high! Here we go, A.J.!’ Mrs Brisbane said.

  We stopped marching when we reached a wooden stage on the edge of the playing field.

  ‘Okay, Humphrey,’ Richie said. ‘I’ve got a plan for you that will surprise everybody. Even Mrs Brisbane doesn’t know.’

  I was surprised when he opened the door to my cage.

  I was surprised when he pulled my hamster ball out of his backpack and put me inside.

  Richie set my hamster ball on the ground.

  ‘Now you can march, Humphrey,’ he said.

  Mrs Brisbane looked surprised, too.

  ‘Richie!’ she said. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

  I looked UP-UP-UP and saw Mr Morales and some other people sitting on the stage, watching.

  I heard A.J.’s loud voice lead the others.

  Humphrey and Og are so much fun,

  They make our classroom number 1!

  They sounded great.

  I sat in my hamster ball, listening.

  ‘Go, Humphrey, go!’ Richie yelled.

  I’d forgotten he’d told me to march.

  I took a few steps forward, which made my ball spin.

  ‘Go, Humphrey, go!’ the whole class shouted.

  ‘No, Humphrey, no!’ Mrs Brisbane said.

  I suddenly hit a little slope and my ball rolled a little faster.

  ‘Go, Humphrey, go!’ the whole crowd yelled.

  The slope got steeper and steeper.

  My ball rolled faster and faster.

  Large feet moved out of the way to let me pass as I rolled along.

  I was moving FAST-FAST-FAST. Faster than I’d ever gone before.

  ‘Whoa, Humphrey! Come back!’ Richie shouted.

  I heard footsteps running behind me.

  My ball just kept on going.

  ‘Stop, Humphrey, stop!’ I heard the crowd yell.

  I looked back and saw people running after me.

  All of my classmates were running and yelling.

  So were Mrs Brisbane and Mr Morales.

  Mr Brisbane’s wheelchair was almost flying.

  It looked as if everyone at the fair was chasing after me.

  I wanted to stop, but a hamster ball doesn’t have brakes. I stopped running but the ball kept spinning. And I was spinning with it!

  I rolled and rolled and rolled some more.

  The trees and grass were just a blur.

  I wondered how far a hamster ball could roll. Could it go on for ever?

  ‘Come back, Humphrey!’ A.J. shouted.

  If I could have come back, I surely would, because now I saw I was rolling right toward the car park!

  My heart was beating THUMPITY-THUMP-THUMP when, all of a sudden, the ball stopped.

  It stopped so quickly, I did a triple flip.

  When I’d settled down, I looked up.

  A huge foot was right on top of my hamster ball!

  Then a huge hand reached down and picked the ball up.

  ‘Who have we got here?’ the man holding the ball said.

  By then, the crowd had caught up with me.

  I heard Mrs Brisbane’s voice say, ‘Thank you for saving Humphrey, Officer Jones.’

  A huge eye looked down at my hamster ball.

  ‘I should probably give this hamster a ticket for speeding,’ Police Officer Jones said. ‘But I’ll let him go with a warning this time.’

  Everybody laughed, except me.

  I was way too tired to laugh.

  Richie came running up. He looked VERY-VERY-VERY worried.

  ‘Richie, what were you thinking?’ Mrs Brisbane asked.

  ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t think the ball would roll away,’ he said.

  Then he looked down at me. ‘I’m so sorry, Humphrey. I made a big mistake. I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to you.’

  I don’t want anything bad to happen to me, either. But I know Richie would never want to hurt me.

  *

  Mrs Brisbane took me back to the stage.

  Mr Morales and all my friends were waiting there.

  ‘This has been a very surprising fair,’ Mr Morales announced.

  That was TRUE-TRUE-TRUE.

  ‘Thanks to our friend Humphrey, I don’t think there will ever be another fair like it,’ he continued.

  Everybody laughed, except Og and me. I was still too tired to laugh.

  Maybe Og was tired, too.

  ‘So, for their great signs, their terrific hamster hats, and their special classroom pets, I’m awarding the prize for best classroom spirit to Room 26!’ he said.

  My tiny ears twitched with all the clapping and cheering that followed.

  Then Mr Morales gave each student in Room 26 a free ticket for the bouncy castle.

  As you can imagine, my friends were unsqueakably happy.

  ‘Thanks, Humphrey,’ Sayeh said.

  ‘You’re the best,’ A.J. told me.

  ‘You’re Number One!’ Miranda said.

  Then my friends all left for castle bouncing and candy floss, for face painting and cakes.

  I didn’t have a ticket, but that was fine with me.

  I’d had enough adventure for one day. I was ready for a nice long nap.

  ‘Well, Og,’ I said, right before I dozed off. ‘Summer fairs are even more surprising than I thought. Don’t you agree?’

  My eyes were already closing when I heard a very loud ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’r />
  a frog, is the other classroom pet in Room 26. He makes a funny sound: BOING!

  is always quick with an answer.

  has golden hair, like I do. She also has a dog named Clem. Eeek!

  is unsqueakably smart, but she’s shy and doesn’t like to speak in class.

  loves to giggle – and so do I!

  is Aldo’s nephew and a classmate of mine.

  is always on the move.

  is a FUN-FUN-FUN friend!

  I think you’ll like my other friends, too, such as

  Wait-For-The-Bell-Garth, Lower-Your-Voice-A.J.,

  Mrs Brisbane and Don’t-Complain-Mandy.

  ‘What is the opposite of slow?’ Mrs Brisbane asked our class one Friday afternoon.

  Mrs Brisbane is the teacher in Room 26.

  I am the classroom hamster.

  I was thinking about the answer when Raise-Your-Hand-Heidi Hopper cried out, ‘Fast!’

  ‘That’s correct, Heidi,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘But you forgot to raise your hand again.’

  Heidi said she was sorry and Mrs Brisbane continued.

  ‘What is the opposite of happy?’ she asked.

  A lot of hands went up.

  My paw went up, too, but I guess Mrs Brisbane didn’t notice.

  She called on A.J.

  ‘Sad!’ he shouted.

  ‘Correct,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘But please Lower-Your-Voice-A.J. Now, what’s the opposite of silly?’

  ‘Eeek!’ a voice cried out.

  It was Gail.

  She was almost always giggling.

  That’s why I call her Stop-Giggling-Gail.

  But she wasn’t giggling now.

  In fact, she looked unsqueakably scared.

  ‘What’s the matter, Gail?’ Mrs Brisbane asked.

  Gail jumped out of her chair and pointed at her table.

  ‘There’s a spider!’ she said. ‘A creepy-crawly spider.’

  ‘Ewww!’ Mandy said.

  Og, the classroom frog, splashed around in his water.

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ he said.

  That’s the way green frogs like him talk.

  ‘Og likes spiders,’ Richie said.

  It was true. Og likes insects a lot.

  He even likes them for dinner. Ewww!

  Mrs Brisbane walked over to Gail’s desk.

  ‘It’s just a tiny little spider,’ she said. ‘It won’t hurt you.’

  I scrambled up to the tippy-top of my cage to get a better look.

  The spider must have been tiny, because I couldn’t see it at all.

  Mrs Brisbane put a piece of paper under the spider and carried it across the room.

  Then she opened the window and gently let the spider crawl outside.

  ‘Girls are scaredy-cats,’ I heard A.J. whisper loudly.

  ‘They’re afraid of everything,’ his friend Garth agreed.

  I didn’t think girls were scaredy-cats.

  I didn’t think girls were anything like cats.

  I also didn’t think I’d be afraid of a tiny spider.

  Mrs Brisbane closed the window.

  ‘Boys and girls, spiders won’t hurt you. In fact, they can be helpful,’ she explained.

  I tried to picture a helpful spider.

  With eight legs, a spider could be a lot of help when it came to washing up and doing other chores.

  Mrs Brisbane said, ‘They help get rid of pests. And they’re very shy.’

  ‘But they’re creepy,’ Gail whispered.

  Then Mrs Brisbane asked, ‘Back to my question: What’s the opposite of silly, Gail?’

  ‘Serious,’ Gail answered.

  You know what? For once she looked VERY-VERY-VERY serious.

  *

  At the end of the school day, Mrs Brisbane announced that Heidi would be taking me home for the weekend.

  I’m lucky, because as a classroom hamster, I get to go home with a different student each weekend.

  Og the frog stays in the classroom by himself because he doesn’t need to be fed every day like I do.

  ‘Bye, Og!’ I squeaked to my friend as Heidi carefully picked up my cage. ‘See you on Monday!’

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ he replied.

  I think Og wished he could come, too.

  So did I.

  *

  ‘Humphrey, we’re going camping,’ Heidi told me in the car on the way home.

  ‘Yippee! Where are we going?’ I asked.

  I hoped Heidi could understand me, but I know that all she heard was ‘SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.’

  ‘We’re camping outside in the garden,’ she said. ‘It’s supposed to be warm tonight.’

  Maybe she understood me after all!

  Once we got to the house, Heidi took me outside, behind her house.

  Heidi’s dad was there, hammering a stake in the ground to hold up a big yellow tent.

  ‘Welcome, Humphrey,’ Mr Hopper said.

  ‘Thanks!’ I squeaked.

  I wanted to lend a helping paw but it’s very difficult for a small hamster to put up a large tent.

  Heidi set my cage on a table.

  It was nice to feel the breeze in my fur and smell all kinds of interesting smells, like pine trees and roses.

  After a while, I heard a familiar voice ask, ‘Is Humphrey here?’

  It was Miranda, who is also in Room 26. Her name is Miranda Golden, but because she has golden hair, I call her Golden-Miranda.

  ‘We’re having a camping night!’ I squeaked.

  Speak-Up-Sayeh, who is a quiet girl, was with Miranda.

  ‘I’m so glad you can be with us, Humphrey,’ she said in her soft, sweet voice.

  Soon Gail arrived, too.

  ‘Is Humphrey going to sleep outside in the tent with us?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes!’ Heidi said.

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked.

  I’ve gone to all kinds of houses and flats on my weekend outings, but I’d never slept outside before.

  However, if my friends were sleeping in the tent, then I would, too.

  Stop-Giggling-Gail laughed and soon everyone was having a GREAT-GREAT-GREAT time.

  Heidi’s mum and dad cooked food outside while the girls hit a ball back and forth over a net.

  When it was time to eat, Miranda and Sayeh came over to my cage and gave me celery sticks and carrots.

  They were pawsitively yummy!

  Then, the girls toasted marshmallows over the fire.

  They looked ooey and gooey.

  But they didn’t look like something a hamster would like!

  There was so much going on, I hardly noticed that it was growing dark outside.

  ‘Look up,’ Mrs Hopper said.

  Pet hamsters don’t spend a lot of time outdoors.

  We spend even less time outdoors at night.

  So when I looked up, I was amazed to see a sky full of twinkling stars.

  We studied stars in school, but I never knew they could be so bright.

  As we all stared up, Mrs Hopper pointed out that some stars were grouped together and made little pictures.

  It was unsqueakably hard to see the pictures at first.

  ‘I see the Big Dipper!’ Miranda shouted, pointing at the sky.

  ‘I see it, too,’ Gail said.

  I stared and stared and then I saw it, too!

  ‘That bright star is the North Star,’ Sayeh said.

  ‘And Mars is the red-looking planet,’ Heidi’s mum said.

  I’d heard a story about green men from Mars invading Earth, so I was a little worried.

  But when I saw it shining, it looked like a very friendly planet.

  Then Heidi’s dad said, ‘Let’s go for a hike.’

  ‘Where will we hike?’ Heidi asked.

  Mr Hopper smiled and handed each girl a torch.

  ‘Right here in the garden,’ he said.

  Miranda put me in my hamster ball and set it on the ground.

  ‘Let’s look for night crawlers,’ Mr Hopper
said.

  ‘What are they?’ Heidi asked.

  ‘Worms!’ Mr Hopper replied.

  ‘Ewww!’ Gail said.

  ‘They sound creepy and crawly,’ Miranda said.

  ‘Worms won’t hurt you,’ Mr Hopper explained. ‘They help the soil.’

  I crossed my toes and HOPED-HOPED-HOPED he was right.

  He handed the girls long sticks. ‘You might have to dig around a little to find them.’

  I tried to stay close to the girls as I rolled through the grass next to them.

  Gail giggled nervously.

  I was feeling a little nervous, too.

  Then Heidi shouted, ‘I found some!’

  All of us rushed over to the flower bed where she was poking the earth with her stick.

  I was the last to arrive, because it’s not easy to roll a hamster ball on the grass.

  *

  When Heidi shone her torch on the dirt, Sayeh said, ‘Ooooh!’

  ‘They’re creepy,’ Miranda said.

  ‘And crawly,’ Heidi added.

  Just then, my ball rolled up to the edge of the flower bed.

  I agreed. The worms did look crawly and a little creepy.

  They were slimy and slithery, too.

  But they weren’t scary.

  ‘Creepy-crawlies don’t scare me!’ I squeaked, which made Gail giggle.

  As my friends were busy shining their torches around the garden, my ball hit a little rock and made a sharp turn.

  I started rolling away from my friends.

  I wanted to stop but the ball kept on rolling.

  I ROLLED-ROLLED-ROLLED past the tent and towards the house.