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  HUMPHREY’S TINY TALES

  Humphrey’s Playful Puppy Problem

  G. P. PUTNAM’S SONS

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  Text copyright © 2014 by Betty G. Birney.

  Illustrations copyright © 2014 by Priscilla Burris.

  Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Birney, Betty G.

  Humphrey’s really wheely racing day / Betty G. Birney ;

  illustrated by Priscilla Burris.

  pages cm.—(Humphrey’s tiny tales)

  Summary: “When Mandy, one of the students from classroom 26, brings a special hamster-sized race car to class, it means just one thing—Humphrey is going to be in a hamster race”—Provided by publisher.

  [1. Hamsters—Fiction. 2. Toys—Fiction. 3. Racing—Fiction. 4. Schools—Fiction.] I. Burris, Priscilla, illustrator. II. Title.

  PZ7.B5229Hu 2014

  [Fic]—dc23

  2013028264

  ISBN 978-0-698-18042-0

  Version_1

  Contents

  A Wheely Great Weekend

  ZOOM-ZOOM-ZOOM Around the Room

  Really Wheely and Red

  A Wheely Big Day

  To Anna and Tobias Ross

  —B.B.

  To SWEET-SWEET-SWEET Betty Birney— thank you for Humphrey!

  —P.B.

  A Wheely Great Weekend

  It was Friday afternoon in Room 26 of Longfellow School. I was spinning on my hamster wheel, trying to stay calm.

  Fridays are always exciting for me.

  Every Friday afternoon, I get to go home for the weekend with a different classmate.

  It’s the BEST-BEST-BEST part of my job as classroom pet.

  Of course, Mrs. Brisbane knew whose turn it was to bring me home. She plans my visits with the parents.

  But sometimes she forgets to tell me.

  Who would it be this week?

  Would it be Lower-Your-Voice-A.J., whose whole family likes to talk loudly?

  Or would I go to Speak-Up-Sayeh’s house, where everyone speaks quietly?

  “Mrs. Brisbane, who is taking Humphrey home?” Heidi Hopper asked.

  “Raise-Your-Hand-Heidi,” Mrs. Brisbane told her. Heidi forgets to raise her hand a lot.

  Mandy Payne said, “I am!”

  She forgot to raise her hand, too!

  Then Mandy said, “That clock must be stuck. It’s taking forever to get to the end of the day.”

  Don’t-Complain-Mandy Payne used to complain about a lot of things.

  Ever since she got her own hamster, named Winky, she doesn’t complain as much.

  “I can’t wait!” I shouted.

  My friends giggled, even though all they heard me say was “SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK!”

  Just then, the clock hand moved and the bell rang. The end of the day had finally come!

  My friend Og the frog splashed loudly in his tank.

  He’s a classroom pet, too. He doesn’t go home with students on the weekend because he doesn’t have to eat every day, like I do.

  “I’ll tell you all about my weekend at Mandy’s when I get back,” I squeaked.

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” he replied, hopping up and down.

  He makes a funny sound because he’s a funny frog.

  Soon Mandy’s mom arrived to pick us up.

  “Humphwee!” a tiny voice shouted.

  It was Mandy’s little brother.

  “Hi, Bwian,” I squeaked back. His name is “Brian,” but he calls himself “Bwian.”

  Mandy’s two younger sisters, Pammy and Tammy, rushed up to my cage. The girls are twins, but they don’t look anything alike.

  “I’m going to take care of you, Humphrey,” Pammy said.

  “No, I’m going to take care of you, Humphrey,” Tammy said.

  “You’re both wrong,” Mandy said. “I’m going to take care of Humphrey, because he’s my classroom pet.”

  When we got to their house, Mandy put me on a table in the living room next to Winky’s cage!

  “Hi, Humphrey!” Winky said.

  When Winky was born, one of his eyes didn’t open, so he always looks like he’s winking.

  “Hi, Winky!” I replied. “How are things going?”

  “Everything is hamster-iffic with me,” he squeaked.

  “Same with me,” I said.

  Winky is the only one I know who can understand my squeaks, because he’s a hamster, too.

  “Glad you could visit, Humph,” Winky said. “Wait until you see my wheels.”

  I looked closely at Winky. He had four paws, just like me. I didn’t see any wheels.

  “What wheels?” I asked.

  “On my car,” he said. “The Paynes got me my very own car.”

  I had a lovely big cage, a wheel for spinning and a hamster ball.

  But I didn’t have a car.

  “Look at them. I think they’re talking,” Mandy squealed.

  Tammy, Pammy and Bwian—I mean Brian—all giggled.

  “I wonder what they are talking about?” Mandy said. “Oh, I know! Humphrey wants to see Winky’s car!”

  Mandy put a hamster-sized car on the floor.

  It was bright blue and it had four wheels. In the middle was a bigger wheel, like the wheel I spin on.

  This was one really wheely car!

  “It’s wonderful!” I said.

  “Watch this!” Mandy put Winky in the big wheel and he started spinning. As the wheel spun, the car began to roll.

  Mandy took me out of my cage and held me in her hand so I could watch.

  “Go, Winky!” I squeaked.

  “Go, Winky, go!” Pammy, Tammy and Brian shouted.

  Winky made the wheel go faster and faster.

  Zoom! The car glided across the room.

  When it got to the other side, Tammy picked the car up and turned it around.

  Zoom! The car glided across the room in the other direction.

  “Keep going, Winky!” Mandy shouted.

  I think I have a wonderful life as the classroom pet in Room 26. I think it’s the best life a hamster ever had.

  But I have to admit, I was a TINY-TINY-TINY bit jealous of Winky.

  I wanted a really wheely car, too!

  After a while, Mandy put me back in my cage. Then she stopped the car and took Winky out.

  “I don’t want you to get tired,” she said as she put him back in the cage.

  “Thanks, Mandy!” he squeaked.

  Of course, I was the only one who could understand him.

  “Do you mind sharing?” she asked Winky.

  Winky squeaked, “Not at all.”

  Before I could squeak “Thanks,” Mandy
put me in the car.

  The car felt a lot like my nice yellow hamster ball. But this was no everyday hamster ball. This was a really wheely car!

  I started spinning on the wheel.

  Zoom! The car lurched forward.

  Zoom! I spun faster and the car rolled across the room.

  I spun faster and faster. Zoom! Zoom!

  “Go, go, go,” Pammy, Tammy and Brian shouted.

  I was going so fast, they couldn’t keep up.

  BAM! The car slammed into the wall. It spun around and rolled in the other direction.

  “Isn’t it fun?” Winky squeaked.

  “It’s the most fun I’ve ever had!” I shouted.

  ZOOM-ZOOM-ZOOM!

  I could have driven that car forever.

  For the rest of the weekend, Winky and I took turns racing the bright blue car.

  One time, Mandy put me in my hamster ball so Winky and I could roll along next to each other. We whizzed through the dining room and into the kitchen.

  It was fun, but my hamster ball doesn’t have wheels.

  “If you had a car, we could have a real race,” Winky said.

  “I hope I’ll have a really wheely car of my own someday,” I told him.

  “I hope so, too, Humphrey,” Winky said with a wink. “I really do.”

  ZOOM-ZOOM-ZOOM Around the Room

  When I got back to Room 26 on Monday, I told Og about the car right away.

  “There was a car and it was blue and I went ZOOM-ZOOM-ZOOM!” I squeaked.

  “BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og jumped up and down in his tank.

  “I’ll tell you the rest later,” I said.

  The bell rang and class began.

  Before our math lesson, Mrs. Brisbane asked Mandy to tell us about our weekend.

  “We had so much fun,” Mandy said. “I think Humphrey and Winky were happy to see each other. At least they squeaked a lot.”

  All my friends giggled. Stop-Giggling-Gail laughed the loudest.

  “And Humphrey really loved rolling around in Winky’s hamster car,” she explained.

  “Car?” A.J. said in his loud voice. “He has a car?”

  Mandy nodded. “Yes. It looks like a car, but it has a hamster wheel in the middle. Humphrey loved it as much as Winky does.”

  “I never saw a hamster car,” Pay-Attention-Art said.

  “Me either,” Heidi added.

  “Well, Humphrey liked it so much that I brought it with me to school,” Mandy said. “Is it all right to show them, Mrs. Brisbane?”

  Mrs. Brisbane smiled. “Of course, Mandy. I’d like to see it, too.”

  Mandy reached in her backpack and there it was. The little blue car!

  “Oooh,” my classmates said.

  “Ahhh,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Why don’t you show us how it works?”

  Mandy gently took me out of my cage and put me in the racing car. She set the car on the floor and I began to spin the wheel.

  “Go, Humphrey, go!” Richie shouted as I rolled the car between the students’ tables.

  I spun the wheel a little faster.

  “Faster, Humphrey, faster!” I heard A.J. shout.

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og yelled as he splashed in the water side of his tank.

  My friends all stood up to watch me, so I spun even faster.

  Uh-oh. Wait-for-the-Bell-Garth’s foot was in the aisle.

  There was no way for me to stop the car and I didn’t have a steering wheel. I leaned to the right and the car barely missed his foot.

  “I hope he doesn’t lose control,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  It wasn’t easy, but I kept the car going without rolling into something.

  “Humphrey! Humphrey! Humphrey!” my classmates chanted.

  All their cheering made me spin even faster.

  Before I knew it, my car rolled up against the leg of Mrs. Brisbane’s desk.

  The car bounced backward, went into a spin and suddenly stopped . . . like THAT!

  Mrs. Brisbane had stopped the car with her foot.

  “Humphrey, I think you need a rest,” she said.

  I had to admit she was right.

  Mrs. Brisbane put me in my cage. “I can see that Humphrey had a great time at your house,” she told Mandy.

  “Yes,” Mandy replied. “I put Humphrey in his hamster ball and Winky in the car and they raced each other,” she said. “But I think Humphrey would like his own car. Then they could have a real race.”

  “A hamster race!” Garth said. “I’d like to see that!”

  “Humphrey should have his own car,” Golden-Miranda said.

  “That’s right!” A.J. said in that LOUD-LOUD-LOUD voice of his. “They could race, and I know Humphrey-Dumpty would win!”

  I like the funny nickname A.J. calls me.

  “Thanks!” I squeaked.

  “BOING-BOING!” Og said.

  When I looked around, all my classmates were smiling.

  “Winky might win. He knows how to make his car go really fast,” Mandy said. “But the car costs a lot of money. I got Winky’s car for my birthday.”

  Money! Sometimes I forget about human things, like money.

  My friends weren’t smiling anymore.

  “Maybe we can find a way. Let me think about it,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Now it’s time to start math.”

  It wasn’t easy for me to think about math after all that excitement.

  When Mrs. Brisbane wrote an “8” on the board, it looked like a race track with fun twists and turns.

  While my friends studied science, Mrs. Brisbane put me in the car and let me roll around Room 26.

  Whenever I got close to a wall, a classmate helped turn the car around.

  It was fun, but not as much fun as being in my own car and racing Winky would be.

  Mandy got her car back at the end of the day.

  “I’m sure Winky will want this,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  “Yes,” Mandy said. “But I hope Humphrey gets a car, too.”

  “YES-YES-YES!” I squeaked.

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og took a big leap into the water side of his tank.

  Mandy giggled. “I forgot about Og. I wonder if they have frog cars.”

  “Now, that would be funny!” Mrs. Brisbane said with a smile.

  Later that evening, Og and I were alone. I opened the lock-that-doesn’t-lock on my cage and walked over to Og’s tank.

  “Do you want to be in a race?” I asked.

  “BOING.” Og didn’t sound very sure.

  “Well, I do,” I said. “And if there’s a car for hamsters, there should be a car for frogs, too.”

  “BOING-BOING!” Og seemed more interested.

  I tried to picture Og driving a car. With his big webbed feet, I didn’t see how he could spin the wheel to make it go.

  “Don’t be upset,” I told him. “I don’t have a car, either.”

  Og and I were quiet for the rest of the evening.

  At least I could pretend to have a really wheely car, even if it wasn’t the same at all.

  Really Wheely and Red

  The next morning, Mrs. Brisbane entered Room 26 with a big smile on her face and a large box in her hand. She said, “Last night, I went to Pet-O-Rama.”

  Pet-O-Rama? That’s the pet shop where I used to live!

  “I told the manager we want to have a hamster car race to go along with our math unit on measurement,” Mrs. Brisbane explained. “And he wants to help us.”

  The manager—my old friend, Carl—wanted to help?

  “YIPPEE-YIPPEE-YIPPEE!” I squeaked.

  My friends looked as happy as I was.

  The door opened and Mr. Morales, the head of Longfellow School
, walked in.

  “Good morning, class,” he said. He turned to Mrs. Brisbane. “What did you want to show me?”

  “This,” our teacher said.

  She opened the box and reached in.

  She took out a car.

  It wasn’t a real car. It was a really wheely hamster car!

  And it was bright red with a lightning bolt on the side!

  “Eeek!” I squeaked. “It’s just what I wanted.”

  Mrs. Brisbane told Mr. Morales about Winky’s car and the idea about a hamster race. “Pet-O-Rama is giving this car to Humphrey so we can use it for math,” she said.

  I was so surprised, my whiskers wiggled and my tail twitched.

  “It has the pet shop name on it,” she said.

  I scrambled to the tippy top of my cage to get a better look.

  It was true. “Pet-O-Rama” was written on the back of the red racing car.

  “Pet-O-Rama will also donate prizes for the winner,” she said.

  I LIKED-LIKED-LIKED that idea!

  “I’d like to see a hamster race myself,” Mr. Morales said.

  “BOING!” my neighbor agreed.

  “Og!” Mr. Morales said. “What do you think of a hamster race?”

  Og bounced up and down in his tank. “BOING-BOING-BOING!” he said.

  “We should have a frog race, too,” Mr. Morales said. “But I don’t think they have cars for frogs.”

  “Sorry, Og,” I squeaked to my friend.

  “We’ll make our plans tomorrow,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Time to put this away.”

  She took the red car and put it on the bookcase.

  Luckily, it was the bottom shelf! Because there was no way I could reach it on the top shelf.

  I started thinking about a plan for later.

  That night, when Aldo the custodian came in to clean, he had a big smile on his face. Of course, Aldo always has a big smile each night he comes to Room 26.

  He pushed his cleaning trolley into the room.