Friendship According to Humphrey Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1 - Strange Change

  Chapter 2 - Upset Pet

  Chapter 3 - Sad-Mad-Bad

  Chapter 4 - Mean Bean

  Chapter 5 - Rhyme Time

  Chapter 6 - Crabby Abby

  Chapter 7 - Fright Night

  Chapter 8 - Ill Will

  Chapter 9 - Mrs. Brisbane Explains

  Chapter 10 - Test Distress

  Chapter 11 - Study Buddies

  Chapter 12 - Party Hearty

  Chapter 13 - Show Business, Snow Business

  Chapter 14 - Oh No, More Snow!

  Chapter 15 - Poetry Festivity

  Humphrey’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Friends

  frog Funnies

  Who Am I? A Rhyming Game

  Og Pops His Top!

  Fun Facts About Frogs

  Magie Mitch’s Disappearing Coin Trick

  Valentines Anagrams

  Questions for Readers

  Answer Key

  The new guy

  On Friday, Mrs. Brisbane announced that Richie would be taking me home for the weekend.

  “Yay! Humphrey’s coming to the party, too,” A.J. yelled.

  I’d never been to a party outside of Room 26 before. Overjoyed, I jumped on my wheel and spun as fast as I could.

  “BOING!” Og croaked.

  Oops! I realized that Og had not been invited to the party.

  “What about Og?” asked Richie. “Can he come, too?”

  Mrs. Brisbane shook her head. “I think you have all you can handle. Besides, I’m taking Og home with me. My husband is working on a surprise for him.”

  “Eeek!” I squeaked. It just slipped out. Mr. Brisbane, whom I hadn’t even seen since Christmas, was working on a surprise for the frog? I could feel that green-eyed monster inside me again. I was jealous of a large lump with a ghastly grin and I wasn’t proud of myself.

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  Melissa Glenn Haber

  Carter Crocker

  Betty G. Birney

  PUFFIN BOOKS

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Young Readers Group, 345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.

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  Registered Offices: Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  First published in the United States of America by G. P. Putnam’s Sons,

  a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2005

  Published by Puffin Books, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 2006

  Copyright © Betty G. Birney, 2005

  eISBN : 978-1-440-68425-8

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  To Jane Birney de Leeuw,

  sister and friend,

  and to Humphrey’s BEST-BEST-BEST friend

  and editor, Susan Kochan

  1

  Strange Change

  BUMP-BUMP-BUMP!

  Mrs. Brisbane and I were headed back to Longfellow School after the long winter holiday. But there were a lot more bumps in the road since the last time I rode in her small blue station wagon.

  “Now, Humphrey,” Mrs. Brisbane said. She was interrupted by another BUMP! “Don’t be surprised.” BUMP! “If there are a few changes.” BUMP! “In Room Twenty-six.” BUMP!

  My stomach felt slightly queasy as I hung on tightly to my ladder, so I had a hard time understanding what she was telling me. What did she mean by “changes”?

  “While you were home with Bert.” BUMP! “I came back to school to get things all set.”

  I was home with her husband, Bert, a lot over the holidays, and as much as I like him, I was worn-out from running mazes a couple of times a day. Mr. Brisbane loves to watch me run mazes. At least back in school, I could catch forty winks once in a while. And since I am a classroom hamster, I belong in the classroom.

  My stomach calmed down a bit as Mrs. Brisbane pulled her car into a parking space.

  “Now, what about these changes?” I asked, but it came out as “Squeak-squeak-squeak,” as usual.

  “It’s good to shake things up once in a while, Humphrey,” Mrs. Brisbane assured me as she opened the car door. “You’ll see.”

  I was already shaken up from the bumpy ride. Then a blast of icy wind made me shiver and I couldn’t see a thing because Mrs. Brisbane had thrown a wool scarf over my cage. I didn’t mind, as long as I was on the way back to my classroom, where I’d see all my friends again. Just thinking about them gave me a warm feeling. Or maybe it was the heat from the school furnace as we walked in the front door.

  “Hi, Sue! Are we on for today?” a familiar voice called out. I couldn’t see Miss Loomis, but I recognized her voice. Miss Loomis taught a class down the hall. She was also Mrs. Brisbane’s friend.

  “Sure, Angie. How about after morning recess?”

  “See you then,” said Miss Loomis.

  Finally, Mrs. Brisbane set my cage down in Room 26 and removed the scarf. When she did, I was in for a shock. Something unsqueakable had happened to my classroom! For one thing, the tables faced the wrong direction. They used to point toward the front of the room. Now they were sideways.

  Instead of being arranged in neat rows like before, the tables were clumped together in groups. Mrs. Brisbane’s desk had moved to the corner of the room. Pictures of people I’d never seen before replaced the happy snow-men that had covered the bulletin board in December.

  I was so dizzy from all the changes, I didn’t notice the room filling up until Lower-Your-Voice-A.J. yelled, “Hiya, Humphrey!” as he came out of the cloakroom.

  Soon, my other friends stopped by to say hello.

  “Did you have a good vacation?” asked Miranda Golden. Miranda is an almost perfect human. That’s why I think of her as Golden-Miranda.

  “My mother says to tell you hi,” Speak-Up-Sayeh said in her sweet, soft voice.

  “Hey, Humphrey-Dumpty,” Garth shouted. That made Gail snicker, but I didn’t mind. She laughed at everything.

  At that moment, the bell rang. “Class, look for your names and please take your seats now,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  There was a lot of thumping and bumping as my classmates located their new seats. Now I had a better view of some of the students who used to sit on the opposite side of the room, like Don’t-Complain-Mandy Payne, Sit-Still-Seth Stevenson and I-Heard-That-Kirk Chen. Maybe it is good to shake things up once in a w
hile.

  Then I noticed something odd. There was a stranger in Room 26, sitting near Sayeh, Gail and Kirk.

  “Mrs. Brisbane, she doesn’t belong here!” I squeaked out loud. “She’s in the wrong room!”

  Maybe Mrs. Brisbane didn’t hear me.

  “Class, as you can see, we’re making some changes this year. And one of our changes is our brand-new pupil,” the teacher announced. “Come here, Tabitha.”

  The new girl seemed SCARED-SCARED-SCARED as she got up and stood next to Mrs. Brisbane. “This is Tabitha Clark and I want you all to welcome her. Tabitha, why don’t you tell us something about yourself?” The new girl looked down and shook her head. Mrs. Brisbane quickly turned back to the class. “We’ll do that later. Now, who would like to be in charge of showing Tabitha around today?”

  “Me!” a voice called out. Of course, it was Raise-Your-Hand-Heidi Hopper, who always forgets to raise her hand.

  “Hands, please, Heidi. I think Mandy had her hand up first. Mandy, you will be Tabitha’s buddy. I expect each of you to introduce yourself to Tabitha and include her in your activities.” She turned to the girl. “I know you’ll make a lot of good friends in Room Twenty-six. You may sit down now.”

  The girl kept staring down at the floor as she returned to her seat. She looked as if she needed a friend. I was so busy watching her, I only half listened to what Mrs. Brisbane was saying. Was she really talking about “poultry”?

  “After all, this is Longfellow School,” she said. “And as I hope you know, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow was a famous American poet.”

  Poetry! Nothing to do with chickens or turkeys, thank goodness. I have to admit, I’m a little scared of things with feathers, ever since my early days at Pet-O-Rama. I still have nightmares about the day a large green parrot escaped and flung himself at my cage, screeching, “Yum, yum! Time to eat! Bawk!” He was still shrieking as Carl, the store clerk, carried him away.

  That unpleasant memory was interrupted when someone blurted, “I’m a poet and I don’t know it. My feet show it—they’re long fellows.”

  “I-Heard-That-Kirk,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “Now, as I was saying, much of this term will be spent reading and writing poetry.”

  The groans were loud. I guess some people are afraid of poetry, even without feathers.

  Seth squirmed in his seat and pretended to pound his head on the table. “Poetry,” he moaned.

  “Sit-Still-Seth,” said Mrs. Brisbane.

  Sitting still wasn’t easy for Seth. Now that he was practically right in front of me, I could see him wiggling and jiggling in his chair, which made Gail Morgenstern laugh.

  “Stop-Giggling-Gail!” Mrs. Brisbane warned.

  Gail stopped giggling and started hiccuping.

  “Please, go get a drink of water,” Mrs. Brisbane told her. She turned to the new girl. “Tabitha, please put that toy away.”

  Everybody stared at Tabitha, including me. She was cradling a scruffy stuffed bear in her arms. The gray bear had cotton coming out of his ears and wore washed-out blue overalls with a button missing. Even his smile seemed a little faded.

  “Now, please,” said Mrs. Brisbane.

  It was quiet in the room, thank goodness. I’m afraid if Gail had been there, we would have heard peals of laughter and heaps of hiccups!

  Tabitha slid the shabby bear into the slot in her table without a word.

  Right about then, Principal Morales marched through the door.

  “Sorry for interrupting, Mrs. Brisbane. I just want to personally welcome you all back to school!”

  The principal looked spiffy with a tie that had little pencils all over it. He always wore a tie because he was the Most Important Person at Longfellow School.

  “Thank you, Mr. Morales,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “We have a new student, Tabitha Clark, and a whole new setup for our class, as you can see.”

  “Welcome, Tabitha,” said the principal. “I’m sure you’ll love it here in Room Twenty-six. I’m glad to see that our friend Humphrey is back as well.”

  He walked all the way across the classroom to my cage.

  “GLAD TO SEE YOU!” I squeaked in my loudest squeak.

  “Hi, old pal,” he greeted me. He turned back to the rest of the class. “You can all learn a lot from Humphrey. And I wish you a very successful semester.”

  After he left, I turned my attention back to Tabitha. She was still staring straight down. I couldn’t see her face clearly, but it was almost as red as her copper-colored hair. I guess I watched her a long time, because suddenly, the recess bell rang.

  “Come on, Tabitha, let’s get our coats,” Mandy said. Tabitha slipped the stuffed bear into her pocket and followed Mandy to the cloakroom.

  As soon as the students were gone, Miss Loomis bustled into the room. Two pink dots of excitement colored her cheeks and her curls bounced in all directions.

  “Are you ready? Should we do it?” she asked Mrs. Brisbane excitedly.

  “Why not?” my teacher answered. “I’ll make room for him now.”

  They walked over to the table in front of the window where my cage sits.

  “Sure, he’ll fit right here,” said Miss Loomis, pointing to a spot near my house.

  Mrs. Brisbane slid some of my supplies down to the end of the table. “Now, you’re sure he’s not a lot of trouble?”

  “Oh, no. Not nearly as much trouble as a hamster,” Miss Loomis answered.

  WHAT-WHAT-WHAT? Not nearly as much trouble as a hamster! Since when have I caused any trouble in Room 26? Since when did I not totally dedicate myself to helping my classmates and teacher? Surprisingly, Mrs. Brisbane didn’t correct her. I was about to squeak up for myself when the bell rang again and Miss Loomis scurried out of the room.

  I wondered who wasn’t as much trouble as I am. “He,” Miss Loomis had said.

  He who? Curiosity made my whiskers twitch and my paws tingle.

  My fur was practically standing on end as the tables filled up. I saw Tabitha slip her bear out of her pocket. Heidi saw it, too, and rolled her eyes at Gail, who almost giggled but managed to stop herself.

  “Now, class, I told you there were some changes in our room this year,” Mrs. Brisbane announced. “Another of the changes is a brand-new classroom pet. I think he’ll add a lot to Room Twenty-six.”

  New classroom pet? Why did she want a new classroom pet when she already had a wonderful, terrific—okay, perfect—classroom pet, namely me? Was I being replaced?

  Miss Loomis entered, carrying a large glass tank. I couldn’t see what it was because my classmates were standing up, craning their necks, ooh-ing and ahh-ing, and chattering away.

  “It’s a frog!” shouted Heidi.

  Miss Loomis set the glass box right next to my cage. Now I could see some water, rocks, and something green and REALLY-REALLY-REALLY lumpy.

  “Meet our new frog,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “Miss Loomis will tell you about him.”

  “Well, boys and girls, as you may know, we have a frog in our classroom. His name is George and he’s a bullfrog. Right before the holidays, one of our students brought in this frog to keep George company. We named him Og the Frog. Unfortunately, George didn’t like Og. And being a bullfrog, George let us know he didn’t like Og by making a lot of noise. That upset Og, I guess, because he would leap and splash all day long while George was croaking.”

  My classmates laughed, but I didn’t. On the one paw, I could see why George didn’t want another frog to compete with. On the other paw, croaking at Og wasn’t a very friendly way to act.

  “With all the noise, we were having trouble getting any work done at all,” Miss Loomis continued. “So I asked Mrs. Brisbane if your class would like to have Og, and she said yes. He’s a very quiet frog. Do you like him?”

  My friends all yelled, “YES!” Everyone except Tabitha, who was secretly petting her little bear.

  Somebody went “Ribbit-ribbit” in a funny croaking voice. It wasn’t the frog.

  “I-Hea
rd-That-Kirk. That’s quite enough. Og can provide the sound effects from now on. I think he’ll make a nice friend for Humphrey,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  A friend for me? At least he wasn’t my replacement—whew! But I was already friends with every single person in Room 26, so she didn’t really need to find me another one. Still, I didn’t want to act unfriendly, the way George had.

  After Miss Loomis left, Mrs. Brisbane let the students have a closer look at Og.

  Seth tapped at the glass.

  “Don’t do that, Seth,” the teacher warned him. “You’ll frighten him.”

  “He doesn’t seem frightened of anything,” Miranda observed.

  “I think he’s smiling,” added Kirk. “That must mean he’s hoppy.”

  For once, Gail didn’t giggle, which seemed to bother Kirk. “Get it? Hoppy? Happy?” he tried to explain.

  Gail rolled her eyes and groaned, which didn’t make Kirk hoppy at all.

  Mrs. Brisbane called to the new girl. “Come see Og, Tabitha.”

  Tabitha stared down at her table and shook her head no.

  “Come on, Tabitha!” Mandy sounded impatient.

  Again, Tabitha shook her head.

  “She hasn’t wanted to do anything all day!” Mandy grumbled.

  “Mandy . . . ,” Mrs. Brisbane warned her.

  “Is he really a frog?” Richie stared hard at Og, who stared right back. “Don’t frogs live in water?”

  “Some do,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “And some frogs live in trees. Og is a common green frog. He likes to live near the water, but not in it. That’s why he has a tank that’s half land and half water.”

  A common green frog didn’t sound very interesting, but Og had certainly attracted the attention of my classmates.

  “Can I take care of Og?” A.J. asked loudly.

  “Lower-Your-Voice-A.J.,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “We will all take care of him.”

  Once the students returned to their seats, Mrs. Brisbane held up a book on the care of frogs. “We’ll have to study this,” she explained. “Taking care of Og will be quite different from caring for Humphrey. After all, Humphrey is a warm-blooded mammal. Og is a cold-blooded amphibian.”