Spring According to Humphrey Read online

  ‘Wait until you meet Skipper.’ Joey put a warm blanket over my cage as we headed to the car.

  Meet a dog? With sharp teeth? I could wait!

  ‘This will be a fun weekend, Humphrey,’ Just-Joey told me as he carried my cage to the car. ‘Right, Mum?’

  I couldn’t hear very well because of the blanket, but I’m pretty sure she said, ‘Yes!’

  We drove for a while and then the car stopped.

  ‘I’ve waited for this a long time,’ Joey said.

  ‘I know,’ his mum answered. ‘It was just hard to find the right weekend. It’s a long way to your dad’s house. I don’t think Humphrey would be comfortable on such a long drive. But your dad had to work on a special project, so you’re with me this weekend for a change.’

  Joey picked up the cage and I could feel him carry me up the pavement. I heard his mother put the key in the door. My whiskers wiggled and my tail twitched as I braced myself for Skipper’s barks. Dog barks can be as painful to my ears as a whistle blast.

  But there was no barking. Where was Skipper?

  Once we were in the house, Joey uncovered my cage. ‘This is my house, Humphrey,’ he said. ‘It’s just an ordinary house, I guess. Nothing special.’

  ‘It’s great!’ I said. My eyes darted around the room, searching for a glimpse of Skipper.

  Joey’s mum leaned down to look at me. ‘Hello, Humphrey,’ she said. ‘You’re just as handsome as Joey said you were.’

  I knew right away that I LIKED-LIKED-LIKED her.

  ‘Show Mum how you can spin,’ Joey told me.

  I leaped on to my wheel and started running.

  ‘Wow, look at him go,’ Joey’s mum said. ‘That’s better than an hour at the gym.’

  Joey looked around. ‘Where’s Skipper?’

  ‘Yes, where’s Skipper?’ I squeaked.

  ‘Oh, Becca offered to take him for a walk,’ his mum said. ‘Wasn’t that nice?’

  ‘Yes!’ I squeaked.

  I know how much my classmates love their pet cats and dogs. But much of the time, they aren’t hamster-friendly. In fact, they are usually hamster-scary! So whoever Becca was, I silently thanked her. I crossed my toes and hoped it would be a very long walk.

  Joey leaned down close to my cage. ‘Becca lives across the street,’ he said. ‘She’ll be back soon with Skipper. I can’t wait for you to meet him.’

  ‘Eeek!’ I didn’t mean to squeak, but I couldn’t help it.

  ‘I have so much to show you,’ Joey told me. ‘I want you to see my room, and Skipper catching a Frisbee.’

  ‘Could we skip the Frisbee part?’ I asked.

  Unfortunately, all that Joey heard was SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

  He carried my cage to his room and gave me a tour.

  ‘Here’s my bed, Humphrey,’ he said. ‘And my desk. And my chest of drawers. Oh, and here’s my wardrobe.’

  I appreciated the tour, but when humans carry my cage, it swings back and forth and my tummy feels a little strange. I was happy when Joey set my cage on his desk and I wasn’t swaying so much.

  ‘Is everything okay?’ Joey’s mum asked from the hallway.

  ‘Yep,’ Just-Joey said.

  ‘Yep,’ I squeaked. ‘So far!’

  I hopped on my wheel for another good spin – which helps me relax.

  ‘I sure would like to have a hamster like you for a pet,’ Joey said, settling on the bed.

  I thought it would be very nice to be Joey’s pet, but he already had a pet dog.

  And I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE my job as a classroom pet!

  I heard a pitter-pitter-patter and, before I knew it, a furry creature raced through the bedroom door.

  ‘Hi, Skipper,’ Joey said. ‘Meet Humphrey.’

  I braced myself as he trotted towards my cage.

  Skipper was a medium-sized dog, white with brown spots.

  He looked up at the cage and wagged his tail. He raised his nose and sniffed, so I scurried to the back of my cage to get as far away from him as I could. You can’t be too careful.

  All the while, Joey talked to Skipper, explaining that I’m a hamster and I live in his classroom.

  Skipper wagged some more and then he did something unexpected. He trotted out of the room!

  I’ve met a few dogs nose to nose in the past, and they were all interested in me. In fact, they wouldn’t leave me alone. They had bad breath and big teeth, and they all looked as if they thought I’d make a tasty little snack.

  I realized for the first time that, like humans and hamsters, dogs are not all alike.

  Maybe this would be a fun weekend after all!

  The next morning, when Joey woke up, his mum came into the room and asked him what he wanted to do for the day. Skipper was nowhere in sight.

  ‘I really want to take Humphrey into the garden to watch Skipper catch a Frisbee,’ Joey said.

  His mum shook her head. ‘That would be fun, but it’s too cold for Humphrey to go outside.’

  That was unsqueakably nice of her because I didn’t want my whiskers to freeze over!

  ‘How about your homework?’ she asked.

  ‘Signs of spring!’ I squeaked.

  Joey’s mum laughed. ‘Humphrey seems to know your assignment.’

  ‘I do,’ I answered. ‘I write them in my notebook.’

  ‘We’re supposed to be looking for signs of spring,’ Joey said. He stared out the window and sighed. ‘I haven’t seen any yet – except for the flower we saw in the snow.’

  ‘A crocus!’ I added, trying to be helpful.

  ‘I don’t think we’ll find signs of spring in the house,’ she said. ‘Why don’t we take Skipper out for a walk and see what we can find? We could go to the nature reserve over by Potter’s Pond.’

  Joey glanced over at my cage. ‘What about Humphrey? I’m supposed to take care of him for the whole weekend.’

  ‘I think he’ll be all right for an hour or two,’ his mum said. ‘Right, Humphrey?’

  ‘RIGHT-RIGHT-RIGHT!’ I answered. And I meant it, because I was feeling a little sleepy and was looking forward to a nice nap.

  Before I knew it, they were gone and I was dozing in my sleeping hut.

  I’m not sure how long they were gone, but when Joey walked back into his room, I scrambled out of my sleeping hut.

  ‘What did you find?’ I asked.

  Joey slumped down in a chair near my cage. ‘No signs of spring, except a couple of blades of grass,’ he said.

  He looked discouraged, so I said, ‘That’s a great beginning!’

  I just wished he could understand me.

  ‘I’ll bet this is the latest spring in the history of the planet,’ he said. ‘And the planet is pretty old.’

  ‘Maybe,’ I squeaked.

  Joey stared at me for a few seconds. ‘Humphrey, I really want you to see Skipper catch a Frisbee, but Mum won’t let me take you outside. And she won’t let me throw it inside.’

  It would have been nice to see the trick, but I didn’t want to go outside in the cold. And I wasn’t too sure about discs flying all over the room.

  Suddenly, Joey sat up. ‘Hey! I could put your cage on the windowsill. I’ll take Skipper outside this window and you can watch!’

  It was such an unsqueakably great Plan, I wished I’d thought of it.

  Soon my cage was right next to the window, about a foot above the bed.

  It wasn’t long before Joey raced out into the garden and waved his Frisbee at me. It was a flat, red circle with tooth marks around the edge.

  Skipper was right behind Joey, looking like he was ready to play.

  Joey looked at me, then raised the Frisbee and let it fly. It soared UP-UP-UP, and as it started to come DOWN-DOWN-DOWN, Skipper leaped WAY off the ground and caught it in his mouth.

  ‘Bravo!’ I squeaked, clapping my front paws together.

  Joey looked towards the window and put his thumbs up. I knew that meant something good.

  I could tell he was getting ready to throw the Frisbee again, but I was frustrated because the bars on my cage – which give me good protection – blocked my view a bit.

  Quickly, I jiggled the lock-that-doesn’t-lock and scrambled up the outside of my cage to the very top.

  Ah! What a nice view.

  Joey raised his arm and tossed the Frisbee. It went even higher this time, and as it started to come down, Skipper jumped WAY-WAY-WAY up in the air and caught it perfectly.

  ‘Way to go!’ I cheered, jumping up and down on top of my cage.

  Uh-oh. The cage was wobbling.

  I don’t weigh much at all, but I guess all my jumping nudged the cage towards the edge of the windowsill.

  All of a sudden, it started tipping over.

  I flew off the cage and rolled a bit. I came to a stop close – but not too close – to the edge. I am unsqueakably lucky that beds are nice and soft.

  My heart was pounding, but once I caught my breath, I looked over and saw a disaster!

  My bedding and food were scattered across the bedspread. Luckily, my water bottle hadn’t leaked and my notebook was still firmly tucked behind the mirror.

  OOPS!

  I leaped to my feet and tried to push the cage upright, but it was no use.

  I was in trouble. And so was Joey.

  BIG-BIG-BIG trouble.

  Joey’s mum discovered the disaster first.

  ‘Joey!’ she yelled, tapping on the window. ‘Come in at once!’

  ‘Hi!’ I squeaked to let her know everything was all right.

  ‘Poor Humphrey,’ she said, reaching her hand towards me. ‘I won’t hurt you.’

  She didn’t, either. She gently scooped me up in her hand, and Joey raced into the room.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked.

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sp; His mum wasn’t happy. She pointed to the mess on the bed. ‘This is wrong,’ she said. ‘You put the cage on the windowsill and it fell off. Somehow, poor little Humphrey got out of his cage. And look at the mess!’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I squeaked. ‘Really. It was exciting.’

  Joey looked surprised. ‘Mum, I made sure it was fine. Look, there’s plenty of room for the cage to fit on the windowsill.’

  ‘You’re going to clean this up now,’ she said. ‘Then I’ll wash your bedspread.’

  ‘Of course,’ Joey said. ‘Don’t be cross, Mum. I just wanted him to see Skipper catch the Frisbee.’

  Joey was true to his word. He’s about the best cage cleaner in the world.

  First, he made a little space for me on the table, surrounded by books so I couldn’t scamper or fall off. Then he cleaned up the mess on the bed, washed my cage and put in new bedding. Luckily, my notebook stuck to the back of the mirror and he didn’t see it. Whew!

  Before long, my cage looked better than ever, and I was back home at last.

  Joey’s mum had to admit he’d done a great job. She was bundling up the bedspread when the doorbell rang. Skipper barked a little bit, but then he stopped. Good dog!

  ‘I’ll get it,’ she said.

  ‘Me too,’ Joey said as he followed her out of the room.

  I waited and waited and then Joey returned. His mum was right behind him, carrying a large aquarium.

  ‘Humphrey, this is amazing!’ Joey said as his mum set the aquarium next to my cage on the desk. ‘Wait till you see!’

  ‘It is pretty amazing,’ Joey’s mum agreed.

  ‘I’d told my dad that we were looking for signs of spring, and he sent this kit! There are two tadpoles in here,’ Joey explained. ‘Tadpoles are found in ponds in the spring, and then they turn into frogs!’

  Frogs? Like my friend Og?

  I scrambled to the side of the cage to get a closer look. All I saw was a little piece of jelly floating in the tank … with two black specks.

  ‘They’re just specks!’ I said.

  ‘See, Humphrey?’ Joey said. ‘This is how Og started out.’

  ‘I don’t think so,’ I squeaked back. There’s no way a large green creature could start out as a tiny black speck.

  ‘I know it’s hard to believe, but we’re going to see for ourselves,’ he said. ‘Wasn’t it nice of my dad to send it to me?’

  Joey’s mum and dad were divorced and didn’t live together any more. In fact, Joey’s dad lived in a completely different town.

  ‘It was nice,’ his mum said. ‘But we’ll have to read the instructions to make sure we know how to take care of these things.’

  Joey stared at the strange specks. I could tell by his eyes that he was unsqueakably excited.

  Suddenly, he jumped up. ‘I have a great idea!’ he cried. ‘I could take them to school and the whole class could watch the tadpoles turn into frogs.’

  ‘That is a great idea,’ his mum said. ‘Much better than keeping them here.’ I don’t think Joey’s mum was very excited about learning to take care of tadpoles. She quickly added, ‘I’ll e-mail Mrs Brisbane to see if it’s all right with her.’

  Joey didn’t even notice his mother leave the room. He was too busy staring at the specks.

  Skipper raced through the door. I felt jumpy, but once again, he didn’t even come close to the cage. He just flopped down on the floor and fell asleep. Whew!

  Joey didn’t take his eyes off the aquarium. ‘Humphrey, I can’t wait to see those little specks grow heads and tails and feet and just keep growing until they are real frogs.’

  I crossed my paws and hoped they would, but I wasn’t sure at all.

  I had never seen Joey so excited! He’s usually quiet, and sometimes I think he doesn’t realize how many things he can do. He’s good at art and knows a lot about animals and he’s very good at taking care of me. In fact, I think he’d make a pawsitively great animal doctor!

  Joey eagerly read the instruction booklet that came with the, um, thingies.

  ‘Oh, I get it,’ he said as he read. Then he looked at me and said, ‘Here’s how it works, Humphrey. These are like eggs in a yolk. They’ll feed on the yolk and pretty soon they’ll become tadpoles!’

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked.

  Joey read on. ‘Any day now, they’ll get legs and a head and, after a while, arms!’

  ‘Frogs have arms?’ I wondered.

  ‘Then the tadpole will look like a small frog with a long tail,’ Joey said. ‘Wow, this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to me!’

  It was nice to see Joey so HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY. ‘Did I tell you they’re leopard frogs?’ Joey asked.

  ‘NO-NO-NO!’ I squeaked.

  I have seen pictures of the creatures called leopards. They are strong and beautiful with spotted fur, but their teeth are large, sharp and fearsome. MUCH worse than the teeth of a dog. Just thinking about leopards made my tail twitch and my whiskers wiggle.

  I may be friends with a frog, but I don’t think I could ever be friends with a leopard.

  ‘Does the book mention if leopard frogs have teeth?’ I squeaked. How I wish Joey could understand me.

  Og may have an enormous mouth, but at least he doesn’t have teeth!

  ‘It takes a while to turn into a frog, but it will sure be something to see,’ Joey said.

  Then he leaped up. As he ran out of the room, he said, ‘I’ve got to call Dad to say thank you!’

  I’m used to sitting in my cage next to a tank containing a frog.

  I’m not used to sitting in my cage next to a tank containing specks.

  I turned to stare at them, but they didn’t say anything.

  ‘Hello,’ I finally squeaked. ‘I’m Humphrey. I’m a hamster.’

  They didn’t even say ‘BOING!’ How rude.

  I wanted – I needed – to get a better look at the specks, but I waited until that night when Joey was in bed.

  I hardly ever open my lock-that-doesn’t-lock when a human is in the room, but I could see by the glow of Joey’s night-light that he was sound asleep.

  I jiggled my lock open without making any noise. Then I slowly walked over to the aquarium, which was lit by the night-light as well.

  There they were: two specks in a clear jelly-like goo.

  I stared at them, but they didn’t move. They didn’t do anything.

  They looked like two eyeballs staring back.

  They certainly looked more like eyeballs than like frogs.

  I watched for a while, but to squeak the truth, the specks were pretty boring, so I scurried back to my cage and quietly pulled the cage door shut.

  It was hard to understand why Joey was so excited about the tadpoles.

  But then, humans are always hard to understand.

  When Joey jumped up out of bed the next morning, he raced to the aquarium to look at the specks.

  ‘Good morning, Joey,’ I squeaked.

  ‘Hi, Humphrey,’ he said without even looking at me. ‘Just checking out the tadpoles.’

  He leaned in close and stared at them. I’m pretty sure they didn’t do anything.

  When he finally straightened up and looked at me, he said, ‘Nothing yet.’ Then he perked up. ‘Oh! I need to draw a picture of them for the bulletin board.’

  I didn’t think it would take a long time to draw two specks. Seconds, maybe.

  But Joey leaned over a piece of paper with his coloured pencils and drew and drew and drew. He used several pencils, even though there wasn’t much to draw.

  At one point, Joey’s mum said, ‘Hey, Joey – how about breakfast?’

  ‘Coming soon,’ he called back. ‘I’ve got to get this right.’

  When he was finished, he inspected it and then nodded his head. ‘Not too bad.’ Then he jumped up and ran out of the room. ‘See you later, Humphrey!’

  I was pretty sure that eating breakfast took a while, so once the coast was clear, I jiggled my lock-that-doesn’t-lock and scurried over to look at Joey’s drawing.

  It’s not easy for a small hamster to look at a large piece of paper, but I studied what Joey had drawn and it was … beautiful! Where I’d seen two specks in clear jelly, Joey had seen so much more!

  The specks were black, but the jelly was yellow and light green and really beautiful.

  When I glanced at the aquarium, I saw that the jelly really was yellow and green and shimmering.