Bumper Book of Humphrey's Tiny Tales 2 Read online

  Next, A.J. whispered in Kirk’s ear.

  A.J.’s voice is so loud, even when he whispers, A.J. is loud.

  I couldn’t hear everything he said but I did hear him say ‘Mrs Brisbane’.

  So that was the secret!

  They were having a surprise birthday party for Mrs Brisbane on Thursday!

  My whiskers wiggled at the exciting news.

  But I wished my friends had whispered in my ear, too, so I’d know more about the plans.

  Mrs Brisbane came over to the group.

  ‘Why are you all whispering?’ she asked.

  ‘It’s a secret,’ A.J. said.

  Mrs Brisbane smiled. ‘As long as it’s a good secret, I guess that’s okay.’

  She glanced over at my cage and said, ‘Isn’t that right, Humphrey?’

  I wasn’t sure if secrets were ever okay.

  Before I could answer, the bell rang and Mrs Brisbane started class.

  I always try to listen to every word she says.

  But it wasn’t easy to listen when my mind was racing with thoughts about Mrs Brisbane’s surprise birthday party.

  Would it be backwards or forwards?

  Would there be games?

  And most importantly, would there be cake?

  Cake is unsqueakably important at a birthday party.

  The next few days I was pawsitively happy all the time.

  I’d watch Mrs Brisbane teaching and think about how happy she’d be on Thursday when the whole class shouted, ‘Surprise!’

  I’d hear my friends whispering about ‘presents’ and I’d think about how she’d smile when she opened her gifts.

  I even practised the birthday song in my mirror.

  This time, I squeaked it forwards, not backwards.

  I was puzzled by a few things that happened during the week.

  On Tuesday, Sayeh and Seth suddenly started measuring my cage with a ruler.

  They also measured Og’s tank.

  ‘It’s for a maths problem,’ Sayeh said.

  Sometimes, Mrs Brisbane has students measure things for maths, so that made sense.

  On Wednesday, when my friends worked on an art project, Mandy raised her hand and asked how to spell my name.

  Mrs Brisbane wrote, ‘Humphrey’ on the board.

  She also let the students work a lot longer than usual on their art.

  Even though hamsters like me are often awake at night, on Wednesday night, I thought I should get some sleep.

  After all, I wanted to be wide awake for Mrs Brisbane’s surprise birthday party the next day.

  I dozed for a while and I had a very strange dream.

  First I dreamed about YUMMY-YUMMY-YUMMY dancing cupcakes.

  Then I dreamed about the look on Mrs Brisbane’s face when she saw her gifts and cake and we all squeaked ‘Happy Birthday’ to her.

  Suddenly I woke up with a terrible thought.

  ‘Og!’ I squeaked. ‘We forgot something.’

  Og splashed around in his tank.

  I jiggled the lock on my cage door.

  It seemed tightly locked, but I have a secret way to open it.

  That’s why I call it the lock-that-doesn’t-lock.

  I jiggled the lock some more.

  When it opened, I was free!

  I hurried across the table to Og’s tank.

  ‘Og, we forgot to get a present for Mrs Brisbane!’ I told him. ‘Just like I forgot to get one for Kirk!’

  ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’ he answered excitedly.

  ‘We have to give her something so she’ll know we’re glad she’s our teacher,’ I explained. ‘But what?’

  Og stared at me from his tank, but he didn’t answer.

  I guessed it was up to me to think of an idea.

  We couldn’t go to the shops to buy something, so we’d have to make her a gift.

  I looked up at the chalkboard, with the row of cupcakes around it.

  ‘I know,’ I said. ‘Let’s make her a cake. After all, you can’t have too much cake at a birthday party!’

  ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’ Og hopped up and down.

  ‘Of course, we can’t bake a cake,’ I said. ‘But we can make her a hamster-and-frog kind of cake.’

  ‘BOING!’ Og agreed.

  I went back into my cage and was delighted to see that my food dish was full of crunchy Nutri-Nibbles.

  It’s one of my favourite treats.

  One by one, I put a few Nutri-Nibbles in my cheek pouch, carried them out of the cage, and set them down in front of Og’s tank.

  After a while I had a nice stack of them.

  Nutri-Nibbles are a little too crunchy to make a cake.

  ‘I need your help, Og,’ I said.

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ he answered.

  ‘Splash a lot of water so it goes on the Nutri-Nibbles,’ I said.

  Then I scampered out of the way, because water isn’t good for hamsters.

  Og splashed … and splashed some more.

  His tank has a top, but if he splashes hard enough, some of the water spills out of the crack at the top.

  Soon, the pile of Nutri-Nibbles was nice and wet.

  ‘Thanks, Og,’ I said.

  Then I went straight to work, using my paws to pat and smooth the Nutri-Nibbles batter into a circle.

  ‘It looks like a cake,’ I said. ‘But it’s awfully plain.’

  ‘BOING-BOING,’ Og agreed.

  So I went back into the cage and dug around in my bedding, where sometimes I store food.

  I found two strawberries and three raisins and pressed them into the side of the cake.

  Next, I scurried to the back of the table where Mrs Brisbane keeps food and supplies for Og and me.

  There were big bags of Mighty Mealworms, Healthy Dots, Nutri-Nibbles, Hamster Chew-Chews and nice soft hay. Yum!

  There was also a box of Og’s Froggy Fish Sticks and a can of crickets!

  Yep, that’s what frogs eat. Eww!

  I chewed a small hole in the bag of hay and made several trips back and forth to the cake.

  Soon it had a nice frosting of soft hay on top.

  Then I added a Chew-Chew, which almost looked like a candle.

  ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’ Og said. ‘BOING-BOING-BOING-BOING!’

  I thought the cake looked great, but Og seemed a little too excited about it.

  ‘Just one more thing,’ I told him. ‘I think a few Healthy Dots would look nice.’

  Healthy Dots are good for hamsters, but they also come in lots of colours and look like sweets.

  Og splashed crazily in his tank, but I scurried to the back of the table once again.

  I was trying to work out how to open the box when I heard people talking.

  ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’ Og twanged.

  I couldn’t see anything, but when I heard A.J.’s loud voice, I knew my friends had come into the classroom.

  I looked up at the window.

  It was already light outside!

  I heard Mrs Brisbane saying, ‘Good morning.’

  I heard the bell ring, too.

  The school day was starting!

  It was the first time I wasn’t in my cage when my friends were in the room.

  I was STUCK-STUCK-STUCK.

  Mrs Brisbane took the register.

  Then I heard Heidi say, ‘Can we do it now?’

  Heidi sounded unsqueakably excited.

  ‘I think we should wait until just before break,’ Mrs Brisbane said.

  I could hear more talking, but I couldn’t understand it all.

  I can hear fine in my cage, but from my hiding place behind Healthy Dots, the sounds were muffled.

  If only I could see what was going on!

  I thought I heard Garth ask, ‘Where’s Humphrey? I don’t see him.’

  Then Mrs Brisbane said something about me making a map.

  Or maybe she said I was taking a nap.

  I would have been so happy to be taking a nap instead of being stuck outside
my cage.

  I wasn’t exactly sure what would happen next.

  Maybe my friends would discover I was missing and find out about the lock-that-doesn’t-lock.

  If they fixed it, I’d be trapped in my cage for ever!

  Or, maybe no one would notice I wasn’t in my cage and I’d miss out on Mrs Brisbane’s birthday party!

  I didn’t like either of those ideas one bit.

  Og splashed nervously in his tank.

  I crossed my toes and hoped that everyone would leave the classroom so I could return to my cage.

  Or at least that my friends would get so busy they wouldn’t notice me sneaking back.

  Then I heard Mrs Brisbane say, ‘It’s time.’

  Which was odd, because the birthday party was supposed to be a surprise for her.

  Next, I heard lots of whispering and rustling.

  I heard footsteps moving closer and closer.

  I heard Gail giggle and someone said, ‘Sssh!’

  Then Mrs Brisbane whispered, ‘Ready?’

  Suddenly, all of my classmates screamed, ‘SURPRISE!’

  ‘Come on out, Humphrey Dumpty,’ A.J. shouted. ‘It’s time for your birthday party!’

  Sayeh’s softer voice said, ‘And Og’s hatch-day party.’

  ‘BOING!’ Og said.

  My birthday party? Og’s hatch-day party?

  I was amazed.

  The surprise party wasn’t for Mrs Brisbane.

  The surprise party was for Og and me.

  But the biggest surprise was the fact that I was missing my own celebration!

  ‘Where is he?’ Richie asked.

  Og splashed wildly.

  I think he was as confused as I was.

  ‘Come on out, Humphrey. We want to wish you Happy Birthday,’ Mrs Brisbane said.

  I didn’t know what to do, so I sat and waited.

  Then Mrs Brisbane told someone to open the cage and a few seconds later, I heard Garth say, ‘He’s not here!’

  Of course, everyone thought that was impossible.

  There were more rustling noises.

  ‘You’re right,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘I don’t think Humphrey’s in his cage. I wonder if someone left the door unlocked. Or maybe it’s broken.’

  I heard the cage door open and shut a few times.

  ‘No, Mrs Brisbane,’ Art said. ‘It works just fine.’

  ‘We must all look for him,’ Mrs Brisbane said. ‘But we’ll have to be very careful not to step on him.’

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked.

  I didn’t mean to say it, but just thinking of someone stepping on me, it came out.

  ‘I can hear him!’ Miranda said.

  Oops!

  There was no hiding now, so I decided it was time to show myself.

  ‘Surprise!’ I squeaked as I scurried across the table.

  ‘There’s Humphrey Dumpty!’ A.J. shouted.

  Mrs Brisbane scooped me up and put me back in my cage.

  ‘Humphrey, when your friends told me they wanted to give you a surprise party, I never dreamed you wouldn’t show up for it,’ she said.

  So, Mrs Brisbane was in on it all along!

  ‘I don’t know how you got out, but please don’t do it again,’ she said to me.

  I didn’t squeak back to her, but I was pretty sure I would get out of my cage again.

  Only next time, I wouldn’t get caught!

  *

  After that, I had an unsqueakably wonderful time!

  Sayeh put a paper birthday crown on top of my cage.

  Richie put a paper birthday crown on top of Og’s tank.

  Then they put a big banner across my cage, which said, ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY HUMPHREY!’

  So that’s why they measured my cage.

  Another banner went across Og’s tank.

  It said, ‘HAPPY HATCH-DAY OG!’

  That was their art project.

  And they gave us presents.

  Og got a special rock that he could climb over or hide under.

  And I got something amazing – a tiny bell that makes an unsqueakably nice tinkling sound when I touch it.

  It was the BEST-BEST-BEST present I could imagine!

  But my ears perked up when I heard A.J.’s loud voice say, ‘Cake time!’

  ‘It looks as if Humphrey already has one,’ Mrs Brisbane said, leaning down to look at the tiny cake I had made.

  ‘Who made this cute little cake?’ she asked.

  No one answered, so I decided to squeak up.

  ‘I did,’ I said. ‘I made it for you.’

  Mrs Brisbane laughed.

  ‘I guess it’s a secret,’ she said. ‘But Humphrey seems to know who it was.’

  I DID-DID-DID!

  Then I was presented with the most beautiful cake I’ve ever seen.

  It was made of nuts and seeds and raisins – all my favourite foods!

  The whole class sang the Happy Birthday song to me.

  Then they gave Og a cake made of things he likes and sang a Happy Hatch-day song to him.

  He splashed around happily when they put it in his tank.

  *

  At the end of the day, when all my friends had left, Mrs Brisbane came over to our table.

  ‘I hope you liked your party,’ she said.

  ‘It was unsqueakably wonderful,’ I answered. ‘But it was supposed to be for you!’

  I know that all she heard was SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK.

  But Mrs Brisbane laughed and said, ‘Happy Birthday, Humphrey and Og.’

  I said, ‘Happy Birthday, Mrs Brisbane.’

  Og said, ‘BOING-BOING-BOING!’

  We both agreed it really was the best birthday bash ever.

  I was surprised that the party was for us and not Mrs Brisbane.

  And my friends were surprised that I wasn’t around for my own party.

  ‘I hope we have another birthday and hatch-day party next year,’ I told Og when we were alone for the night.

  ‘And I still hope we have a surprise birthday party for Mrs Brisbane,’ I added.

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ he said.

  And then I rang my bell a few more times, just for fun.

  a frog, is the other classroom pet in Room 26. He makes a funny sound: BOING!

  has a loud voice and calls me Humphrey Dumpty.

  is A.J.’s best friend – and a great friend of mine, too!

  Garth’s little brother. He calls me ‘ham’.

  has golden hair, like I do. She also has a dog named Clem. Eeek!

  is unsqueakably smart, but she’s shy and doesn’t like to speak in class.

  loves to giggle – and so do I!

  is always on the move.

  I think you’ll like my other friends, too, such as Repeat-It-Please-Richie, Pay-Attention-Art, Raise-Your-Hand-Heidi and Don’t-Complain-Mandy.

  ‘Can you keep a secret, Humphrey?’ Garth whispered.

  ‘Of course,’ I whispered back.

  But since I’m a hamster and Garth is a human, all he heard was ‘Squeak!’

  ‘How about you, Og?’ Garth asked my friend.

  Og answered ‘BOING!’ because he is a frog who makes a VERY-VERY-VERY strange sound.

  ‘There’s going to be a treasure hunt in my garden tomorrow,’ Garth said. ‘But it’s a secret. Don’t tell anybody, okay?’

  ‘Eeek!’ I squeaked. I wasn’t sure what a treasure hunt was, but it sounded exciting.

  ‘BOING-BOING!’ Og splashed around in his tank.

  ‘I’ve worked out some of the clues already,’ Garth said. ‘And I haven’t even told A.J.’

  A.J. was Garth’s best friend. They were both in my class at Longfellow School.

  I’m the classroom hamster in Room 26. Og is the classroom frog.

  It’s part of my job to go home with a different student each weekend.

  Frogs can go for several days without food, so Og usually stays back in Room 26. But this weekend Garth invited everyone in our class to a party, includin
g Og and me. Our teacher, Mrs Brisbane, said we could both go, which made me unsqueakably happy.

  My cage and Og’s tank sat on the desk in Garth’s room. We watched as he cut paper into squares.

  ‘The clues should be hard,’ he said. ‘But not too hard. After all, somebody has to find the treasure.’

  ‘What’s the treasure?’ I asked, wishing Garth could understand me.

  Garth stopped cutting paper and looked at me.

  ‘Thanks, Humphrey,’ he said. ‘You gave me an idea for a great place to hide it!’

  ‘You’re welcome,’ I squeaked. ‘But what is the treasure?’

  ‘BOING!’ Og said.

  As Garth began writing on the squares of paper, I thought about TREASURE-TREASURE-TREASURE! I knew that treasure was something special, like gold and silver coins. Or sparkly jewels.

  In the books Mrs Brisbane read to us in class, people were always looking for treasure. Sometimes treasure was buried in the ground. Sometimes it was at the bottom of the sea.

  I scurried to the side of my cage near Og’s tank.

  ‘What kind of treasure would you like?’ I asked him.

  Og just stared at me with his goofy eyes. I didn’t think coins or jewels would be of much use to a frog. He’d probably rather have crickets or flies. Ewww!

  Coins or jewels wouldn’t be of use to a hamster, either, but I still wanted to go on the treasure hunt.

  Suddenly, a small voice called out, ‘Ham!’

  Garth’s little brother, Andy, raced into the room and headed for my cage.

  ‘He’s a hamster, not a ham,’ Garth said.