School Days According to Humphrey Read online

  Small-Paul and Tall-Paul walked out of the classroom together at the end of the day, talking about getting together with their planes and cars. I don’t think either of them noticed that they weren’t the same size.

  “Whew!” I said when Og and I were alone again. “We did it, but it was a lot of work.”

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” Og agreed.

  Aldo came in later to clean the room. “I’m glad to see you two are still together,” he said. “Richie told me that Miss Becker said she’d decided on which classroom pet she wanted.”

  My tummy did a flip-flop. “Which one of us is it?” I squeaked.

  “She said it would be a surprise,” Aldo added as he swept under our table. “She’ll tell them tomorrow. Oh, and she said Ms. Mac helped her make up her mind.”

  My tummy did a somersault. Ms. Mac LOVED-LOVED-LOVED me, so of course, she told Miss Becker to pick me. I still missed my old friends from last year. So why did I feel sad about leaving Room 26?

  Aldo spent a long time in our classroom that night, because he brought in stacks of extra chairs and left them in the corner.

  “Mrs. Brisbane said she’s going to need these tomorrow,” he explained.

  Why did Mrs. Brisbane need more chairs? Was she going to get more students? If so, wouldn’t she need a helpful classroom pet more than ever?

  Later, I made a few more notes in my notebook.

  Reasons I’m sad about leaving Room 26: • Leaving Mrs. Brisbane

  • Leaving Og

  • Leaving my new classmates just when I’m starting to like them

  I opened the lock-that-doesn’t-lock and strolled over to Og’s tank.

  “Og, old friend, I think I’m going to be leaving Room Twenty-six,” I said. “Even though I don’t want to.”

  Og bounced up and down so hard, I thought he’d pop the top off his tank. “BOING-BOING-BOING!”

  “I’m sure you’ll still help the students with their problems,” I said. “And I’ll come visit you every night.”

  Og calmed down a little then.

  “Maybe Mrs. Brisbane will bring another pet in to keep you company. A cold-blooded animal, like you.” I thought that would make him feel better, but I don’t think it did.

  He dived into the water side of his tank, splashing furiously.

  I understood.

  I went back to my cage, but I didn’t sleep much that night.

  My last night in Room 26.

  HUMPHREY’S RULES OF SCHOOL: Work together. Please!

  15

  The Best Class in the World

  I was on edge all morning. Everything in class was running smoothly now, and suddenly the new students of Room 26 didn’t seem so strange anymore. Too bad I’d be leaving so soon!

  I tried to shake and wiggle my worries away, but this time, it didn’t work.

  I waited and waited and waited to get the bad news, but nothing happened until after lunch, when Miss Becker came in, accompanied by Richie and Gail. They were smiling, naturally, because they were happy they were getting me back.

  “Mrs. Brisbane, your students from last year wanted to share some news with you. Do you have a minute?” Miss Becker asked.

  Mrs. Brisbane looked surprised, but she said, “Sure, if you can share the news with my whole class.”

  Miss Becker smiled. “Yes, of course.” She turned toward the class. “Mrs. Brisbane’s students from last year wanted to get a classroom pet,” she told the class. “Of course, they missed Humphrey and Og. So, I’ve finally made a decision. Richie and Gail, would you like to announce it?”

  “Hermit,” Richie said, stepping forward.

  That didn’t sound like my name at all.

  “Crabs,” Gail said, giggling.

  That didn’t sound like Og’s name, either.

  “What?” Mrs. Brisbane looked amazed.

  “We decided on something completely different. Six hermit crabs,” Miss Becker said. “It was Ms. Mac’s suggestion.”

  “Wonderful!” Mrs. Brisbane said. “How did you choose them?”

  “We decided there would never be a frog as great as Og,” Richie said.

  “Or a hamster as perfect as Humphrey,” Gail added.

  I wasn’t sure if that was true, but it was nice to hear.

  “And,” Miss Becker added, “hermit crabs are very quiet. But they do better if they live in groups.”

  “I hope you enjoy them as much as we enjoy Humphrey and Og,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Perhaps we’ll come and visit them someday.”

  But at the end of the day, before she left, Mrs. Brisbane said, “You notice it takes six hermit crabs to replace the two of you.”

  That made me feel VERY-VERY-VERY good.

  “Whew! That was a close call, Og,” I told my neighbor when we were alone again.

  I was unsqueakably delighted that I’d be staying in Room 26. After all, someone needed to keep a close eye on Kelsey to make sure she didn’t have any accidents. Joey wouldn’t get to hear me giggle if I weren’t around. Harry’s family’s clock could be set back at any time. I still wanted to find out why Phoebe was so forgetful, and I wasn’t sure yet whether all of Thomas’s stories were real or just tall tales.

  I had a second surprise later that afternoon when Ms. Mac appeared at the door.

  “Are you ready?” she asked.

  “Come on in,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  I guess I’d been dozing when Mrs. Brisbane had announced what was going to happen. Suddenly, my classmates were arranging the spare chairs stacked in the corner and setting them next to their own chairs. Then I was SURPRISED-SURPRISED-SURPRISED when Ms. Mac and her entire class of first-graders entered the room.

  Ms. Mac directed each of the first-graders to sit next to an older student.

  “The idea behind Brisbane’s Reading Buddies is that the older children will share their favorite books with the younger children,” Mrs. Brisbane told them. “Any questions?”

  A small boy who was missing both of his top front teeth raised his hand. “What’s over there?” he asked, pointing toward the table Og and I shared.

  “Why, that’s our hamster, Humphrey, and our frog, Og,” Mrs. Brisbane explained.

  “HI-HI-HI!” I squeaked, which made most of them giggle.

  “Maybe you’ll be in this class someday and they’ll be your classroom pets,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  That seemed to please the first-graders. It pleased me, too.

  What pleased me even more was watching the students in my class patiently sharing books with the first-graders and helping them learn to read.

  How on earth could I have ever thought they were the worst class in the world?

  The third surprise of the day came just before school was over for the day. Principal Morales stopped by for a visit. He was wearing a tie with colorful autumn leaves on it.

  “Class, I just want to say that Mrs. Brisbane has told me that in the last few weeks, your class has improved more than any class she’s ever had. Mrs. Brisbane has been teaching for a long time, so that’s quite a compliment.” Mr. Morales paused and smiled at the class.

  “She said you’ve made special progress in learning to work together,” he continued. “So I would like to congratulate you and encourage you to keep up the good work!”

  Every face in Room 26 had a smile on it. Even mine.

  After school, Mrs. Brisbane hummed to herself as she gathered up her papers and her purse.

  “Fellows, this has been quite a week, hasn’t it? It’s the kind of week that makes me glad I’m still teaching,” she said.

  That was nice to hear, because I didn’t want Mrs. Brisbane to stop teaching—ever!

  “I still have to decide who takes you home this weekend, Humphrey,” she said. “It will have to be a surprise.”

  I didn’t mind being surprised. The new students in Room 26, who had seemed like strangers a few weeks ago, all felt like friends now.

  That was a very nice feeling.

  When
Aldo came into the room that night, the first thing he said was, “Hermit crabs!”

  He laughed so hard, his mustache shook. “I never would have guessed she’d pick hermit crabs. They’re crustaceans, you know.”

  “No, I didn’t know,” I told Aldo. “But it doesn’t matter whether they’re crustaceans or primates or amphibians—they’re classroom pets. And I’ll bet they’ll do a very good job.”

  Of course I couldn’t resist the temptation to pay a visit to Room 18 after Aldo’s car had pulled out of the parking lot that night.

  But as I slid under the door of Miss Becker’s classroom, I was a little nervous. What if hermit crabs were as unfriendly as George?

  I looked at the table by the windows, but there were only stacks of folders there. An eerie glow from another wall caught my attention and there, on a table, was a large aquarium with a small light on it.

  I inched closer and looked up at the unsqueakably odd sight of the hermit crabs. They weren’t golden and furry, like me. And they weren’t green and googly-eyed like Og. They were pinkish and shiny and had pincers that I wouldn’t like to come in contact with. But I have to admit, they were interesting.

  “Welcome to Longfellow School,” I said, even though they probably couldn’t understand me. “I hope you know that you’re in one of the best classes in the world.”

  They just kept wiggling, so I continued. “And I’m in one of the other best classes in the world.”

  Since they didn’t have anything to say, I turned away, but before I left the room, I turned back.

  “By the way,” I squeaked. “My name is Humphrey. I’m the hamster in Room Twenty-six.”

  I’m not completely sure, but I think one of the hermit crabs waved to me. I waved back.

  Once I was back to my classroom, I told Og about the hermit crabs.

  “I guess it’s nice that they’re all crustaceans,” I told him. “But personally, I’d rather have an amphibian as a neighbor. It makes life more interesting.”

  “BOING-BOING-BOING!” he said, which made me think he was happy to share the table with a rodent.

  I took out my little notebook and I finished my poem, writing in the moonlight.

  Autumn, oh, autumn,

  You had my poor head spinning.

  But now I am happy

  To have a new beginning!

  HUMPHREY’S RULES OF SCHOOL: Love the class you’re in. I do!

  Humphrey’s Top 10 Rules for Classroom Pets

  (hamsters, frogs and even hermit crabs)

  1. Listen to your teacher. If it wasn’t for your teacher, you wouldn’t have a job and you might still be stuck in a boring old pet store!

  2. When a student needs help, always lend a paw. (If you have pincers instead of paws, be VERY-VERY-VERY careful.)

  3. If you have a lock-that-doesn’t-lock, keep it a secret!

  4. Remember: all doors are not the same height, and being stuck under one is unsqueakably scary.

  5. In case of emergency (and classroom pets have many of those), try and stay CALM.

  6. Learn to tell time. It’s a skill that can come in very handy.

  7. Be a friend to other classroom pets, even if they’re a different species.

  8. Even if they seem strange, new students can be every bit as nice as old, familiar students.

  9. You can learn a lot about yourself by taking care of another species. (That’s what Ms. Mac said, and she’s unsqueakably smart.)

  10. Humans need you. Please be kind to them!