Friendship According to Humphrey Read online

  There were friends who would actually rescue you when you were in trouble. There were new friends, old friends, silver and gold friends.

  Later that night, I was SORRY-SORRY-SORRY I’d ever doubted Og was my friend. I hadn’t understood that sometimes a frog feels jealous and sometimes he feels splash-happy. But he had come through for me when I needed help. So how do you say thank you to a frog?

  I decided to write a poem. Not just a “roses are red, frogs are green” poem, but a poem that said what I really felt.

  I pulled out my notebook and started to write.

  The next day was spent rehearsing for the Poetry Festival and straightening up the room. (Boy, those kids’ tables can get pretty messy.) I didn’t pay much attention. I was hunkered down in my sleeping nest, writing my hamster heart out.

  Friday was Valentine’s Day and everyone was excited. In the morning, the students “mailed” their valentine cards in a big box on Mrs. Brisbane’s desk. During recess, the teacher sorted out the cards and delivered them, humming happily as she dropped them in the boxes.

  After recess, the students opened their cards. There was a lot of giggling and even some crunching, since Mrs. Brisbane had also dropped candy hearts in all the mailboxes.

  Out of the blue, A.J. shouted, “Hey, hold on here!” That got everyone’s attention. “I got a card from Martin Bean!”

  Seth groaned loudly.

  “No, listen. He says he’s sorry,” A.J. explained.

  “I got one, too!” said Garth.

  Miranda and Heidi had also gotten “I’m sorry” cards from Marty.

  “But he’s so mean,” Mandy blurted.

  “People can change,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “I think it must have been quite difficult for Martin to write those cards, and he gave them to me to deliver. Maybe it’s time to give him a second chance.”

  Whew, giving Mean Bean a second chance wouldn’t be easy. Yet I recalled that once he got started, he was actually pretty nice when he handed out prizes at the birthday party. Maybe Aldo’s talk with him had done some good. No wonder he got that A in psychology.

  “I’ll give him a second chance!” I exclaimed. Of course, it came out “Squeak-squeak-squeak.”

  “I haven’t forgotten you, Humphrey,” said Mrs. Brisbane. She came over to help Og and me with our mailboxes. We received cards from all the students in class. Each one was special, but the one I remember the most was from Miranda.

  Though “hamster” doesn’t have a rhyme,

  I love you, Humphrey, all the time.

  She’d figured out how to write a poem with the word “hamster” in it after all!

  I had one more card in my mailbox than Og. It was from Brazil! Yes, Ms. Mac had remembered me with a teeny little card that said, “Humphrey, you will always be a special friend. Love, Ms. Mac.”

  She’d sent a letter to the whole class, as well, with greetings from her pupils in Brazil.

  As wonderful as it was to receive those cards, I kept one eye on the clock all morning, because I had a special mission to accomplish during lunch.

  A hamster’s work is never done.

  The bell finally rang and the students left, which was good. But Mrs. Brisbane stayed behind, which was bad. She busily rearranged all the chairs into a big half circle. She picked scraps of paper off the floor and straightened a few tables. Wasn’t this woman going to eat?

  At last, she glanced up at the clock, picked up her lunch bag and hurried out of the room. I didn’t have much time, so I tore a page out of my notebook, jiggled the lock-that-doesn’t-lock, flung open the door and slid down the leg of the table.

  Og started boinging in alarm, but I didn’t have time to explain.

  I raced across the floor as fast as my legs would carry me, straight to Mrs. Brisbane’s desk. When I got there, I gasped with surprise. My plan was to climb up her chair and take a giant leap onto the desk. It was dangerous and risky, but sometimes you have to be bold! However, the teacher had ruined everything by moving her chair FAR-FAR-FAR away from her desk, into the circle of other chairs.

  Even worse, her desk didn’t have legs to climb up. It was a solid block of wood.

  My Big Plan was completely spoiled!

  The clock ticked away. My only choice was to set the piece of paper on the floor near her desk and scramble back to the table. I grabbed on to the cord from the blinds and began to swing back and forth until I got up to the top of the table. I took the final leap and scurried back to my cage, pulling the cage door shut behind me.

  “Boing-boing-boing!” croaked Og.

  “You’ll understand soon,” I told him. “I hope.”

  After lunch, Mrs. Brisbane returned to the classroom, followed by her other students. The room mothers arrived with punch and cookies. Next, the other parents entered. Everyone was so busy saying hello and admiring the decorations that I lost track of Mrs. Brisbane.

  I could hear her, though. “Ladies and gentlemen, if you can take your seats, we’re ready for the Poetry Festival to begin.” She talked about what we’d been studying and all the hard work we’d put in. Then she turned the celebration over to Kirk Chen.

  Kirk was in good form. He introduced each student with a short poem. The rhymes were funny, but they didn’t hurt anybody’s feelings. For instance, when it was Heidi’s turn, Kirk said, “Here’s something fun by Heidi Hopper. When it comes to poems, you can’t top her!”

  He introduced Tabitha by saying, “Tabitha’s new, but boy, can she rhyme. We hope she stays a long, long time.”

  And for A.J.’s poem he said, “A.J.’s poem makes him proud, so don’t be surprised if he speaks real loud.”

  (A.J. did, too.)

  I was PROUD-PROUD-PROUD of my classmates as one by one they stood in front of the room and recited their poems. Heidi recited the frog poem she wrote. Instead of her Smiley poem, Tabitha performed a funny poem about a baseball player named Casey. Sayeh recited the dove poem. Pay-Attention-Art lost his place in his poem, but he started over again and did fine. If anybody forgot a word, Mrs. Brisbane whispered it and nobody seemed to notice.

  The parents clapped heartily for each and every poem. I did, too!

  Then my heart sank as Mrs. Brisbane said, “That concludes this year’s Poetry Festival. I hope you’ll all stay for refreshments.”

  My Plan had failed utterly! I glanced over at Og. He was still smiling, but he didn’t know what I had planned.

  But Mrs. Brisbane kept talking. “I have one more poem I’d like to share. I found this scrap of paper on the floor as you arrived. I think it expresses the feelings the children in this room have for each other. It’s very tiny and a little hard to read, but I’ll try.”

  A friend doesn’t have to be a work of art,

  Just have a heart.

  A friend doesn’t need to have fur or hair

  To care.

  A friend doesn’t have a thing to do

  But like you.

  A friend doesn’t need to say a word

  To be heard.

  It’s not so hard to be a friend

  In the end.

  The room was silent until Heidi’s mom started the applause and everyone joined in.

  “There’s a scratchy kind of scribbling at the bottom. I can’t make out the name,” said Mrs. Brisbane. “Would the pupil who wrote this like to stand up and identify him- or herself?”

  I was standing up, all right. And I squeaked at the top of my voice, “I wrote it! I wrote it for Og! It’s my valentine to him!”

  “Sounds like Humphrey knows who wrote it,” Mr. Golden joked, and everybody laughed. Everybody except Og.

  “Boing-boing!” he shouted, hopping up and down. At last, I’d gotten through to him. And now I knew exactly what he was saying.

  “You’re welcome, Og,” I replied. “You’re welcome, you grinning, green, lumpy, bumpy, hairless, google-eyed, cricket-eating friend. You’re entirely welcome.”

  Later that night, I looked over at Og as he dove into
his swimming pool with a giant splash! He looked the same as ever, yet everything was different. What had seemed like a sneery-leer was really a friendly grin. The splashing that once annoyed me made me feel good, because I knew Og was HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY. And a lunge that once scared me just meant Og wanted to play a game.

  Sometimes humans are hard to understand, especially when they act mean, like Marty Bean, or get crabby, like Abby. But with patience (and a little psychology), you can usually figure them out.

  It’s the same with frogs. And even hamsters.

  I’d made a few mistakes, but I’d managed to keep my old friends in Room 26 and make a new one, too.

  Suddenly, my heart went “BOING!” as I thought about my shiny-silver new friend.

  My friend Og.

  “Of what shall a man be proud, if he is not proud of his friends?”

  Robert Louis Stevenson, Scottish novelist and poet

  Humphrey’s Guide to the Care and Feeding of Friends

  1. If you act like a jerk and tease people, you won’t have any friends. Guaranteed.

  2. If you do the opposite, and are nice to people, you’ll have friends. It might take a while, but you’ll have friends.

  3. If you act like a jerk to your friends and they get mad, but you’re REALLY-REALLY-REALLY sorry and let your friends know it, they will probably forgive you.

  4. Just don’t do it too often. (See Rule 1.)

  5. A best friend can be your relative, like a stepsister, or even a wife.

  6. People don’t always think so, but boys and girls can be friends.

  7. Sometimes you may want to be friends with somebody but that person (or frog) doesn’t want to be friends back. That seems SAD-SAD-SAD, but it’s not, because there are other people out there waiting to be friends with you. You just have to look for them. Keep looking—don’t give up!

  8. A friend is someone you like to be with and you don’t even have to talk. Or squeak.

  9. Friendship has its own language. Even if you don’t understand the words your friend says, you can understand the meaning.

  10. You might not know somebody’s your friend until he has a problem and you realize you care.

  P.S. Tegucigalpa is the capital of Honduras, a country in Central America. Look it up on the map!

  Turn the page for more

  fun with Humphrey!

  Dear Reader,

  In The World According to Humphrey, I introduced Humphrey, the classroom hamster, and his friends in Room 26 of Longfellow School. Then, I was asked to write a second book—or a “sequel”—which Humphrey would probably call a “squeakuel.”

  Humphrey solved so many problems in the first book, I had to think very hard about how to include all my favorite characters from the first book and still make the new story a little different.

  Then I had a bright idea, but one that would not be easy for Humphrey: I would introduce a second classroom pet into Room 26. I thought of a lot of possibilities, including a rabbit, a turtle, and even a chicken! But once I thought of a frog, the choice was easy. Og the Frog was born.

  I could have made Og a talking classroom pet but I thought it would be more interesting if Humphrey had a hard time communicating with him. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for a hamster to make friends with a frog and that Humphrey would have many challenges getting used to his new neighbor. But in the end, I was sure Humphrey would succeed and along the way learn, as we all do, that what a friend says isn’t as important as what a friend does.

  Once I decided that the overall story would be about Humphrey and Og becoming friends, I decided to make all the stories in the book about friendship. I thought back to my own childhood and the problems we all have: two friends dealing with a bully on the bus, two close friends who stop speaking to each other, and the age-old question of whether a boy and a girl can be friends. (YES-YES-YES, I believe!)

  I got the idea for the Poetry Festival from my son’s elementary school. I liked the school but I didn’t like the way they ran their Poetry Festival. I decided that in Room 26, everyone would have a chance to participate—even Humphrey. I guess part of the fun of being a writer is being able to “fix” the world and make it the way you’d like it to be.

  I also added a few new friends: Tabitha, Kirk and Seth. Things are always changing in Room 26, just like they are in our own lives.

  When I speak to students, they often ask if Og will stay in Room 26. The answer is “Yes.” He may be green and lumpy with bulging eyes and a strange twang, but Og has definitely won a place in my heart, and in Humphrey’s as well.

  Sincerely,

  Humphrey’s friend (and Og’s)

  Betty G. Birney

  frog Funnies

  When does a frog frown?

  When he’s un-hoppy.

  What do frogs like to drink?

  Croaka-cola!

  What do you get if you cross a famous space film with a frog?

  Star Warts!

  What do you say when you want to make friends with a frog?

  Wart’s new?

  What did the bus driver say to the frog?

  Hop on!

  What’s Og’s favorite ballet?

  Swamp Lake!

  What’s green and can jump a mile a minute?

  A frog with hiccups.

  What game do frogs play in Scotland?

  Hop-Scotch!

  Where do frogs leave their coats and hats?

  In the croale-room!

  Why did the frog become a lighthouse keeper?

  Because he had his own frog horn!

  Who Am I? A Rhyming Game

  Fill in the blank with the name of the correct character. The answer will rhyme with the line above it, except for number 10!

  Og Pops His Top!

  Og accidentally popped the top of his aquarium and ran away. Can you help him find his way back?

  (solution on page 168)

  Fun Facts About Frogs

  • Frogs are amphibians and their relatives are toads and salamanders.

  • The word amphibian means “double-life” because many amphibians spend part of their lives in water and part of their lives on land.

  • Amphibians have been around a long time—something like 350 million years! But the first frog appeared about 190 million years ago.

  • Frogs are known for leaping. The record for a frog leap is seventeen feet in one jump!

  • The famous American writer Mark Twain wrote a funny story called “The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County.”

  • Because frogs don’t have a shell, scales or dry skin, most live in damp conditions so they won’t dry out.

  • Frogs go through major chances as they grow up. They start out as eggs, which turn into tadpoles, which don’t look much like frogs! They change again into froglets and then become adult frogs. This process is called metamorphosis—a word Humphrey definitely hopes is never on his vocabulary test!

  Magie Mitch’s Disappearing Coin Trick

  Magic Mitch says, “Even though Humphrey ruined my magic show, I will share one of my secret magic tricks with you. You should be able to do it at home with a little practice.”

  • Put a coin and a magic wand (you can make your own) on a table at your right side.

  • Take the coin in your right hand and show it to your audience. Tell the audience that you’re going to make the coin disappear.

  • Look down at the wand on the table and act as if you want to pick it up, but you can’t.

  • Pretend to move the coin to your left hand, but keep it in your right hand. Keep your eyes on the wand, and the audience will, too. And keep that patter going!

  • Pick up the wand with your right hand (which also holds the coin). Turn your attention to your left closed fist.

  • Tap your left fist with the wand and say “Hocus Pocus!”

  • Open your left hand slowly. Act surprised that the coin is gone. Your audience is sure to be amazed!

  Valentines Anagrams
r />   An anagram is a word or phrase formed by changing the order of the letters of another word or phrase. Below are some anagrams of the word VALENTINES.

  A Snivel Net

  (But what do you do with a snivel when you catch

  it?)

  Alien Vents

  (Eeek! The aliens are coming out of the vents! Run!)

  Save Ten Nil

  (“Nil” means nothing, so if you save ten of nothing,

  you get nothing!)

  Latin Seven

  (Hey, the Latin word for seven is septem.

  Anvil Tense

  (Falling anvils make me very tense.)

  van Nestle

  (I think he sat in back of me in English class.)

  A list of places to stay on your next vacation ...

  Seal Vet Inn

  (Maybe you can only stay there if you are a doctor

  who cares for seals.)

  Last Eve Inn

  (Hmm ... I don’t think I want to stay at a place that

  will be my last evening ever.)

  An Evil Nest

  (I’m definitely not staying there!)

  At Elves Inn

  (Sounds nice and fun. I wonder if it’s at the North