Friendship According to Humphrey Page 7

  There was nothing to do now but keep my paws firmly crossed, which I did.

  Sometime in the afternoon, I must have dozed off, but I was awakened by a now-familiar noise. “Chirrup!” That was the sound of a cricket. This time, it was coming from the middle of the room.

  “Mrs. Brisbane?” a voice called out.

  “Chirrup!”

  Our teacher turned away from the board, where she was writing out a math problem. “Yes, Kirk?”

  “I think a cricket got loose.” Kirk pointed to the floor near his table.

  “Well, pick it up, please,” Mrs. Brisbane said.

  “Chirrup! Chirrup!”

  Kirk bent down and cupped his hands, touching the floor. “I’ve got it!”

  “Good. Now please put it back where it belongs.”

  Kirk lifted his hands and sat upright in his chair. “I don’t know, Mrs. Brisbane. I think it might get away.”

  Everyone was watching as Kirk stood up and started walking toward the cabinet where the crickets were kept. As he passed by Heidi, he suddenly opened his hands up right over her head. “Oops! Dropped it. Sorry, Heidi.”

  Heidi leaped up and started jumping around the room, shaking her head and running her hands through her hair. “Help! Get it off me. Get it off!” she screamed.

  Everyone was laughing. Everyone except Mrs. Brisbane.

  “Kirk Chen, you find that cricket,” she said in a very stern tone of voice. “Now!”

  Kirk grinned. “Aw, there was no cricket. I was making that noise.”

  Heidi stopped jumping around and glared at him.

  “Hear it? Chirrup. Chirrup.” Kirk really sounded like a cricket. “Boy, that Heidi Hopper sure can hop!” he added.

  Gail giggled until Heidi shot her a very angry look, then quickly covered her mouth to stop herself.

  Mrs. Brisbane slowly walked toward Kirk. “You, my friend, are in trouble. Big trouble,” she said. “You will stay in during recess and we’ll have a little talk.”

  As Kirk returned to his seat, the room was very quiet. Except for a loud “Chirrup!”

  Without even turning to look at him, Mrs. Brisbane said, “I-Heard-That-Kirk Chen.”

  I wouldn’t have wanted to be Kirk when it was time for recess. Once the other students had cleared out, Mrs. Brisbane marched over to him. Boy, was he in trouble! So I was surprised at the first thing she said.

  “I have a confession to make. I think you’re a funny guy, Kirk. You make me laugh a lot. Someday, you might star in a funny movie, and I promise you, I’ll be the first one in line to buy a ticket.”

  Kirk looked as confused as I felt.

  “But . . .” Uh-oh, here came the clincher. “There’s a time to be funny and a way to be funny that’s appropriate. And there’s a time to be funny and a way to be funny that is not. It’s time for you to learn the difference.”

  I waited for a “Chirrup,” or at least an argument, but Kirk remained silent.

  “Why did you pretend to drop a cricket on Heidi’s head?” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

  Kirk shrugged his shoulders. “Because it was funny?”

  “Do you think Heidi thought it was funny?”

  Kirk shook his head.

  “I think you did it to get attention. And if that’s the case, it worked.” I’m not sure, but I think Mrs. Brisbane smiled. “Now, why do you like to get attention?”

  Kirk shrugged again.

  “So people will like you?” the teacher asked.

  “Maybe.”

  “Then I have good news for you. You don’t have to play pranks anymore. People already like you. You’re one of the most popular students I have.”

  I’m not sure, but I think Kirk smiled a little, too.

  “So the next time you think of doing something funny, I want you to think about two things. First: Is it really funny? Or is it hurtful to someone? Second: Are you just doing it to get attention? Can you work on that?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” said Kirk.

  “Because if you continue to act like you acted today, I’m afraid you’re going to be doing a solo comedy act in Principal Morales’ office. And he may not think you’re funny at all.”

  I think Mr. Morales has a good sense of humor. But I also think that Mrs. Brisbane is good at figuring out what’s going in people’s heads. I bet she studied psychology in college.

  Kirk was quiet for the rest of the day. So were Og and the crickets.

  After my classmates went home, Mrs. Brisbane hung around longer than usual. I soon learned why. Aldo came to Room 26 to see her.

  “Mrs. Brisbane, thanks for your call,” he said.

  “And I thank you for coming in early to talk,” she said.

  They looked funny sitting in those little student chairs.

  “I hope you’ll forgive me for reading this application you left behind. It was none of my business,” she explained.

  Maybe not, but I’d made sure it was her business, with a little help from Og.

  “When I saw that you had written in ‘Teaching’ and then crossed it out, I thought perhaps you’d like to talk.”

  “Yes, I would,” said Aldo. He was strangely quiet, and I guess he was nervous, because he kept tugging at his collar. “I was thinking I’d like to be a teacher, but I’m kind of . . . afraid.”

  Mrs. Brisbane listened while Aldo explained his fears about not being smart enough or interesting enough to be a good teacher.

  “Everybody feels that way,” she said with a warm smile. “What makes you think you would like to teach?”

  Was I surprised to hear Aldo talk about how much he liked books, science, history, math, learning . . . how much he liked children! (He didn’t mention hamsters, but I knew how he felt about me.)

  When he was finished, Mrs. Brisbane laughed out loud. “You’d better become a teacher or I’ll be angry with you. You sound like a born teacher!”

  “How can I know for sure?” Aldo asked.

  “Would you like to try it out?” Mrs. Brisbane asked.

  “Try out . . . teaching?”

  “Yes. We’ll pick a day for you to come in and teach a subject to the class. You can pick any subject. See how it feels to be in front of a classroom. See how the students react to you.”

  Aldo rose and began to pace. “That’s a wonderful offer. I don’t know. Sounds good. Maybe.”

  “Please think about it, talk it over with your wife, and let me know,” Mrs. Brisbane suggested. “But you’ll have to do it soon. This application is due in a week.”

  “I will, I will,” said Aldo. “If I could be half the teacher you are, I’d be happy.”

  Mrs. Brisbane laughed. “Thank you, Aldo. But even after all these years, I still have my bad days.”

  Aldo shook her hand about ten times before leaving.

  Mrs. Brisbane gathered together her things, and when she was ready to leave for the day, she turned to Og and me. “Hope you’re satisfied, guys,” she said.

  I don’t know about Og, but believe me, I was HAPPY-HAPPY-HAPPY.

  I wasn’t surprised that Mrs. Brisbane helped Aldo. It happened just the way I planned it. But the next day, I had a big surprise I never could have planned.

  My classmates were all hurrying out of Room 26, heading for the lunchroom. Usually, Sit-Still-Seth would have raced out of the room. But on this day, he hung behind the others.

  “Coming?” Kirk asked impatiently.

  “Meet you there,” said Seth.

  Seth was the only student left in the room except for Tabitha, who was trying to stuff Smiley into her pocket as Seth approached.

  I couldn’t imagine what he was doing. Tabitha had given the girls the cold shoulder when they tried to be friends. And Seth is a boy. Everybody knows boys and girls can’t be friends. At least, that’s what I heard Art and Richie say.

  “How’d you know all that sports stuff the other day?” he asked her.

  Tabitha shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I just like sports. And I remem
ber things I hear about sports.”

  “Me, too,” answered Seth. “What sports do you like best?”

  Tabitha thought about it. “Basketball and baseball. Football. Tennis.”

  “Me, too,” Seth agreed.

  Mrs. Brisbane was in the doorway. “Are you two coming?”

  “Right away,” said Seth. But he turned back to Tabitha. “Listen, I’ve got to ask. Why do you keep that dumb bear with you? Aren’t you too old for that?” he asked.

  Tabitha shrugged again.

  “When I was little, back in first grade, I had a truck I used to bring to school with me. I couldn’t stand to be without it,” Seth told her.

  “Do you still have it?” asked Tabitha.

  “It’s in my closet. Sometimes I take it out, but I don’t bring it to school anymore.”

  Mrs. Brisbane waited at the door. Now she didn’t seem to be in such a hurry to get to lunch.

  “My mom gave me Smiley,” Tabitha explained. “My real mom. I haven’t seen her for four years.”

  “Oh,” said Seth. “I get it.”

  “You two are going to miss lunch,” Mrs. Brisbane reminded them.

  “Okay.” Seth rushed out the door, but Tabitha stayed in her seat. Mrs. Brisbane came toward her.

  “Tabitha, I know you’ve been moved around a lot. Your foster mother told me you’ve been with five families in four years. But she also told me that she wants you to stay with her forever,” the teacher told her.

  Tabitha stroked Smiley’s fur. “They all say that. It just never works out.”

  Mrs. Brisbane sat in the chair next to Tabitha so they were eye to eye. “I don’t mind having Smiley in class. But I think you’d make more friends if you left him at home. He’d be waiting for you there. You can make new friends without giving up the old ones. Don’t you know that little song?”

  Now, Mrs. Brisbane has surprised me many times, but I almost fell off my ladder when she started to sing.

  Make new friends, but keep the old,

  One is silver and the other’s gold.

  What a beautiful song! And Mrs. Brisbane had a nice voice, too. We were all quiet afterward until Tabitha asked, “What’s the good of making friends if you’re not going to stay?”

  “A person can have many friends in her life. Even if you move on, a friend can be forever. At least in your memory.”

  Oooh, I felt a little pang somewhere close to my heart. Ms. Mac was the teacher who brought me to Room 26. Although she had to move on without me, she was a forever friend who would always be in my memory. Ms. Mac was pure gold.

  “Listen to her! She’s right!” I squeaked.

  Mrs. Brisbane smiled. “Sounds like Humphrey wants to be your friend, too. How would you like to take him home with you this weekend?”

  “I’d have to ask my mom. My foster mom.”

  “I’ll call her right now, while you get some lunch,” said the teacher.

  I have to admit, Mrs. Brisbane is the BEST-BEST-BEST teacher in the world and also a golden friend. Even if she did let Og into the classroom and made us study frogs.

  “To like and dislike the same things, that is indeed true friendship.”

  Sallust, Roman politician and historian

  10

  Test Distress

  As Aldo swept the floor later that night, he talked and talked.

  “Maria thinks I should take Mrs. Brisbane up on her offer. I don’t know, Humph. Can you imagine me as a teacher?”

  “YES-YES-YES!” I squeaked.

  “I mean, what could I teach those kids? What do I know?”

  Aldo spent many an evening talking to me while we ate our dinners. Believe me, he knew a lot! But I’d never seen him act like this before. He muttered while he mopped the floor. He mumbled while he dusted. He argued with himself while he sat down to eat his sandwich.

  “Science? Math? History? Which would be best?” he asked.

  “Anything except frogs,” I squeaked, and to my surprise, Og responded with a “Boing!”

  “I bet they’ve learned a lot from you, Humphrey. You’ve probably taught these kids more than I ever could.”

  I was too modest to answer “Yes.”

  Aldo dug down in his lunch bag and pulled out a piece of broccoli. “Here’s something for you, buddy.” He held it up and examined it. “Funny, it looks small to me, but to you, I bet it looks like a great big tree!”

  What it looked like was delicious. “Thanks,” I squeaked.

  Aldo leaned in closer and stared at me. “I guess everything looks different to you, pal.” He held up his finger. “I just see a finger, but I’ll bet you see every little line and swirl in the skin.”

  I wasn’t quite sure what Aldo was getting at, but I squeaked in support.

  Aldo took a long sip of coffee from his thermos. “Of course, no two people see things exactly the same, either. And the more you look, the more . . .”

  He suddenly jumped up. “This might be it, Humphrey. I mean, it’s interesting, it’s different. Like a microscope. Yeah!”

  I had no idea what he was talking about, so I munched thoughtfully on the broccoli. (Why some humans don’t like it is a mystery to me.)

  Aldo wheeled out his cleaning cart. “You always give me the best ideas, Humph! See you later!”

  He disappeared but then quickly popped his head back in the doorway.

  “You, too, Og. Don’t want to leave out my fine froggy friend!”

  So, Og was Aldo’s friend . . . but still not mine.

  I guess the grumpy lump next door didn’t know or care, because all I heard from him was splashing.

  Tabitha’s foster mom said yes. I’d be spending the weekend at her house. But I figured I wouldn’t get much attention from Tabitha since all she cared about was Smiley the bear.

  There were SO many problems in Room 26. Garth and A.J. were still worried about Marty Bean. Heidi and Gail were still MAD-MAD-MAD. Miranda and Abby were friends now, but would they stay that way without me around to help? I spent so much time thinking about these problems, I forgot the other problems in Room 26.

  Math problems.

  I had been dreaming (the sleeping kind and the day kind) during math for most of the week. When Mrs. Brisbane started reviewing for a big math test coming up, I had no idea what she was talking about!

  I wasn’t alone. Mrs. Brisbane gave the class a pop quiz and guess what? Half of us failed!

  “It’s not fair!” Mandy complained, while everybody else moaned and groaned. Our teacher was not pleased.

  “All right, class. The quiz won’t count toward your grade. But the rest of the school year builds on these concepts. You’ve got to master these problems,” she explained. “I’ve prepared a study guide for the test next week. I want you to complete this over the weekend.”

  You should have heard the moans and groans then!

  “I’m sorry, class. This is important to me and to you,” Mrs. Brisbane insisted as she handed out the papers. “Put your name on your guide and bring it back—completed—on Monday.”

  “I flunked. How about you?” Seth whispered to Tabitha.

  “Almost,” she whispered back.

  “It’s time for recess,” Mrs. Brisbane said. “Put your study guides in your backpacks now so you won’t forget them.”

  Papers rustled as my classmates tucked away their study guides.

  The second hand on the big clock circled around. TICK-TICK-TICK. Those study guides made me think up a Plan, but I wasn’t sure I’d have the time to pull it off.

  Once the bell rang, the students rushed to get their coats and raced out the door. Mrs. Brisbane gathered up some papers from her desk and hurried out the door. Sometimes she spent recess in the teachers’ lounge. Luckily, this was one of those days.

  There was no time to waste, so I flung open my cage door. “Og, don’t you tell a soul what I’m about to do!” I told my neighbor.

  It’s not easy to get from my cage to the classroom floor, but I’d ma
stered a technique. First, I slid down the smooth table leg. It wasn’t difficult, but it was a bit too fast for comfort. The way back was more challenging. I couldn’t slide back up the leg, so I’d grab on to the cord from the blinds and swing myself back up. It was a dangerous undertaking that was always scary. But I had to take the chance because I had important work to do.

  Once I hit the ground, I scampered over to Seth’s chair. His backpack was on the floor. Happily, he’d left his study guide sticking out of the pocket. I had to use my paws and teeth to pull it out and drag it over to Tabitha’s table.

  Getting the paper into the pocket of her backpack—which was my goal—was a challenge. Her backpack was hanging from her chair. The pocket I wanted was at least a foot off the ground—awfully high for a small hamster.

  By chance, there was a long cord dangling down from the pocket zipper. Holding the paper firmly in my teeth, I grabbed on and tried to pull myself up with all my might.

  “BOING!” Og was trying to tell me something, but what?

  Just then, the bell rang. It seemed much louder than usual. So that’s what he was trying to tell me! He was trying to warn me that I was in serious danger of being caught outside of my cage. I was also in danger of being trampled on by large feet. At least they were large compared to me!

  I dropped the study guide and scurried as fast as I could toward the table. With no time to waste, I grabbed the cord and began swinging back and forth, higher and higher.

  “BOING-BOING!” croaked Og.

  “I know, I know!” I squeaked back. My stomach did flip-flops as I saw the edge of the table. I took a deep breath and leaped onto the tabletop.

  Mrs. Brisbane opened the door and I could hear the thunder of feet as my friends rushed to the cloakroom. I sprinted across the table. Please don’t let them see me. PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE, I thought as I darted into my cage, pulled the door behind me and collapsed on a pile of wood shavings.

  I held my breath, waiting to hear if I’d been caught in the act. I heard Mrs. Brisbane’s footsteps approach.

  “Why is the cord swinging like that?” she wondered out loud. “That’s odd.”